when we rode bikes.

two days ago, we went on a bike ride!

i got out of clinical early and had some time before babysitting.

so, miriam, becca and i went on a gorgeous bike ride!

the weather has been in the 70s all week and it has been amazing.

i know this will be the last of these days till like, april! LOL

{oh my cheek bones! they look so good here....this is not an accurate portrayal of them}

{love these ladies.  annnd i missed the memo it was a funny pic haha}

i love them!  and love these beautiful days.

next couple weeks have a LOT of work.  

brace yourself.  this could be stressful.

my life. currently.

if this doesn't describe my current status in life i don't know what does:

hectic. crazy. messy. unorganized.

fall break was so so good, and it was so good to see those i work with/babysit for.

but it was exhausting, to say the least.

and i feel i am still paying for it.

i've been so drained the last several days and i don't know why!! 

but on a happier note, i went to clinical today with hospice people.

i sat in on a family who was choosing hospice for their mom/grandma.

i tell ya, i tried so hard to hold it in and not cry.

it is so sad to see those mourning.

and so hard to not think, 'this could be me with a family member soon'.

the nurse i was with was amazing and had such a heart for it.

and then i got to babysit {which was even more exhausting, but fun}

and then went to bible study with the women from church.

they are all SOOO wise and i was reminded of that tonight.

i need to be in community with them more to learn and be sharpened.

i can and am learning so much from them it's unreal.  but i love it.

annnd while at starbucks, my "crush" came up to our bible study group and said hello.

then he said to have a good night {there were only 3 of us!}

i could have died and went to Heaven right then and there.

....ok.  i might be exaggerating a bit but let me enjoy it :)

Lord, give me strength.  strength only You can give. help me to be moment by moment dependent on You alone.

His love is not conditional.

today, at church, it was awesome.

they say started with going to breakfast with brook, mitch and joey {whom i just met}

it was so yummy and the boys paid...even better.  

{kinda kidding...but i do appreciate when men are gentleman}

then, we went to church, and by the first song we sang my heart was POUNDING.

sometimes, when i feel from the Spirit, my heart does that. 

i can just feel it, but don't know how to describe it.

anyways, i got that feeling.

and i said to brook, 'i am nervous.  this is not good.'

so john starts the message by saying it is a lecture on covenant and our covenant with God.

and then he said there would be an altar call--even though this wasn't the typical type of message for an altar call.

and he said he wanted those to come up and stand at the end, and then others to come and give words from the Lord.

well my heart was pounding even more!  i knew this was gonna be me.  

so i prayed that the Lord would give me a peace and allow me to focus on Him.

but i asked Him to bring to my attention the area He would need me to go up for.

so all sermon i thought it was about forgiveness and my family.  but i wasn't sure that was it.

then, as the sermon ended, i got that feeling again.

and john says, 'if the Lord is talking to you right now, you need to not hesitate and come up.'

so i stood up and as i stand the Lord says,

'we're gonna talk about my love for you. and how you're lonely.  and how you don't need to be.'

so it came to me.  this is what we were gonna address.

so i stand in front of the altar, along with many others.

john asked those to come up and pray with us and be so discerning about a word for us.

and a woman starts to come and pray with me.

i instantly knew it was michelle and was sooo thankful!

{last year at this time she prayed with me when i was discouraged with school and prayed about God being the el shaddai}

so she started praying in what sounded like tongues, but i couldn't understand.

so i'm still standing there.  praying.  and my heart pounding like crazy.

then john says, i want to encourage those of you who haven't given a word to the person you're praying with and speak to them.  but i need you to have discernment, he said.

so michelle comes up and gives me a word.

and i wish i had recorded it cause i want to remember every word.

here is what she said {it will be a bit paraphrased}:

the Lord wants you to know that He loves you so unconditionally. He does not love you because of something you did and does not love you less for something you didn't do.  He loves you so much and just wants you to know that. it is not conditional.  He just wants to love me and hold me in His hands.  she said that she also felt like there was a disconnect because of my relationship with my Earthly father.  {to which i said 'mhmm'} than she said that the Lord wants to break down walls that i have up and he wants to show me ALL of Him.  even the sides that might not be too pretty.  she said that she also see a vision of me with my hands open wide and so ready for all that the Lord will show me about Himself.  and that she has faith He will show me in such abundance that i won't be able to comprehend that--and she prays He does show me more than i can comprehend so that i don't put Him in a box.  

wow.  she hit it on the head.  that is exactly what i needed to hear.  and that's the first official time someone has accurately had a word for me.

{we did it at bible study and it was somewhat accurate but not like this}.  she had SO much discernment and said she just knew she was to come and pray for me.  

so we're praying for just those things.  

that i am open to knowing more and ALL about Him.

that He breaks down the walls that i have up that put characteristics on Him that aren't true.

and that He shows me specific times where i had built those walls.

that i can feel His love and let Him have all of me.

God is so good.  

and i am so glad that He still speaks today.

and so thankful for those who have a heart for Him and such discernment.

He spoke to me today. and i knew it the minute i walked in that door.

the Spirit was so heavy today.  

i love you, Lord.  thanks for meeting me where i am at. always.

the prettiest.

every time i come home i remember how beautiful my home town is!

seriously.  it is so gorgeous.  especially in the fall.  

work has been amazing this week, and i totally was reminded by i love it there.

it hurts me to think i will not be working there {more than likely} after college.  

i just love the staff and people i work with and for.

and i love the patients.  they are so much fun.

i worked with dr. knobeloch today and just loved it.

i feel bad cause i feel none of them want me, but he is so patient and soo knowledgeable! and i love learning things from him.

i have missed those ladies, and their welcome was wonderful.

however, it is making me tired! i am not used to being on my feet all day.

my babysitting for tonight got cancelled {hallelujah!}.

it allowed for time to get some homework done.  oh the joy!

i got coffee with brook last night and i just love being with her!

excited for her and how the Lord will use her to revive her family.

have i mentioned that i am reading a dating book from my RD?!

i feel kinda desperate.  but i love this kinda stuff LOL.

happy friday!  i looove me so weekends :)

love the roomie.

can i start by saying i love my roomie?

she is just so wonderful and a big blessing.

we just laugh so much together.

last night she even said,

'remember that one time you had 17 tabs open on your computer?!'

bhaha.  that had happened earlier that day.

she's on homecoming court {so is miriam} and i would be happy if either won!

and i got into a good convo with my RD about dating.

she gave me this book and i can't wait to start reading.

there is this new song by britt nicole that i love.

it is called 'hanging on':

'without you i just can't get by, so i'm

hanging onto to every word You speak, 

cause it's all that i need.

hanging onto every word You say,

to light up my way.

even every little whisper, i'm hanging on as if it were my life.

i'm hanging on.'

so so good. 

and break starts today!

excited to see people at AHN all week/weekend.

hoping i can pick things up quickly and not be a bother.

ta da.

last week we had our last clinical.

ta-da!

our instructor natalie was awesome and made this experience so awesome.

by far my favorite instructor so far.

and good instructors are like gold!!

{kienyn, paula, elise, jess, me, natalie, katie w., elysa, hannah and megan.}

this week is fall break after wednesday.  hallelujah!

i am scheduled to work more than i wish i was, oops.

tomorrow will be a super long day, including a theory test.

pray that it goes well and i am prepared!!

also, went to evening church tonight {which was cancelled so it was dinner at the romans}

it is always so intimidating to go because clicks of people go.

but the Lord has been telling me to be more intentional about being involved in church/bible studies more than just on sunday.

so i made myself go!

and i had a good time of fellowship.

and people guessed my pictionary word correctly. SCORE!

weekends...why must you go so fast?!  

let the 'lasts' keep comin!

today was the last ever pediatric rotation.

this is SO weird to say!

as the days go on, we are constantly checking off things that bring me one step closer to graduation.

how surreal is all that?!

never again will i walk into akron children's {well, more than likely}

and honestly, i'm not too sad about that.  

although this experience was really positive, i don't know if it is my forever type job.

but today, was it.  now i move onto psych. 

which i'm not too terribly excited about either, but it's a little more low stress, which is always appreciated.

{me and jess on the drive home! whew.  so glad i got to be with her this rotation!}

we've been through a lot together in nursing school, and it was so nice to get to finish a clinical with her {again}. 

she has been such a job in my life.

and i can't believe we're really getting closer and closer to graduation!

let all the 'lasts' keep comin', they'll be many more in the near future!

and heres a pic just cause he is so darn cute!

i just love this little face!