His love is not conditional.

today, at church, it was awesome.

they say started with going to breakfast with brook, mitch and joey {whom i just met}

it was so yummy and the boys paid...even better.  

{kinda kidding...but i do appreciate when men are gentleman}

then, we went to church, and by the first song we sang my heart was POUNDING.

sometimes, when i feel from the Spirit, my heart does that. 

i can just feel it, but don't know how to describe it.

anyways, i got that feeling.

and i said to brook, 'i am nervous.  this is not good.'

so john starts the message by saying it is a lecture on covenant and our covenant with God.

and then he said there would be an altar call--even though this wasn't the typical type of message for an altar call.

and he said he wanted those to come up and stand at the end, and then others to come and give words from the Lord.

well my heart was pounding even more!  i knew this was gonna be me.  

so i prayed that the Lord would give me a peace and allow me to focus on Him.

but i asked Him to bring to my attention the area He would need me to go up for.

so all sermon i thought it was about forgiveness and my family.  but i wasn't sure that was it.

then, as the sermon ended, i got that feeling again.

and john says, 'if the Lord is talking to you right now, you need to not hesitate and come up.'

so i stood up and as i stand the Lord says,

'we're gonna talk about my love for you. and how you're lonely.  and how you don't need to be.'

so it came to me.  this is what we were gonna address.

so i stand in front of the altar, along with many others.

john asked those to come up and pray with us and be so discerning about a word for us.

and a woman starts to come and pray with me.

i instantly knew it was michelle and was sooo thankful!

{last year at this time she prayed with me when i was discouraged with school and prayed about God being the el shaddai}

so she started praying in what sounded like tongues, but i couldn't understand.

so i'm still standing there.  praying.  and my heart pounding like crazy.

then john says, i want to encourage those of you who haven't given a word to the person you're praying with and speak to them.  but i need you to have discernment, he said.

so michelle comes up and gives me a word.

and i wish i had recorded it cause i want to remember every word.

here is what she said {it will be a bit paraphrased}:

the Lord wants you to know that He loves you so unconditionally. He does not love you because of something you did and does not love you less for something you didn't do.  He loves you so much and just wants you to know that. it is not conditional.  He just wants to love me and hold me in His hands.  she said that she also felt like there was a disconnect because of my relationship with my Earthly father.  {to which i said 'mhmm'} than she said that the Lord wants to break down walls that i have up and he wants to show me ALL of Him.  even the sides that might not be too pretty.  she said that she also see a vision of me with my hands open wide and so ready for all that the Lord will show me about Himself.  and that she has faith He will show me in such abundance that i won't be able to comprehend that--and she prays He does show me more than i can comprehend so that i don't put Him in a box.  

wow.  she hit it on the head.  that is exactly what i needed to hear.  and that's the first official time someone has accurately had a word for me.

{we did it at bible study and it was somewhat accurate but not like this}.  she had SO much discernment and said she just knew she was to come and pray for me.  

so we're praying for just those things.  

that i am open to knowing more and ALL about Him.

that He breaks down the walls that i have up that put characteristics on Him that aren't true.

and that He shows me specific times where i had built those walls.

that i can feel His love and let Him have all of me.

God is so good.  

and i am so glad that He still speaks today.

and so thankful for those who have a heart for Him and such discernment.

He spoke to me today. and i knew it the minute i walked in that door.

the Spirit was so heavy today.  

i love you, Lord.  thanks for meeting me where i am at. always.