a choice.

tonight i'm feeling left out and discouraged.

i feel left out as i find things that my friends did last weekend, without me.

and not that it is a big deal, but they didn't tell me about them.

and when it came up today, i had to ask about 7 times what they were talking about.

i feel left out.

i feel discouraged as i didn't do well on my nursing exam.

and by that, i mean i got a 70%.  not good.

i worked hard and did my best.

i am discouraged.

but as i sit here thinking about being discouraged and left out, i think, these are lies.

my hope is not in my friends or my school work {as much as i value both so much}

my hope is not in the things i am or am not included in.

my hope lies in Jesus.

and even when it doesn't feel easy to say that, i have to remind myself.

this life is not my own. i belong to someone greater.  

as i told jess {who is also discouraged} what i need to tell myself:

God is faithful.  He did not get me this far along to leave me high and dry.

there is a reason i made it to week 10 of senior year.

i believe it.  

He is faithful and will never let me go.

even if things don't happen the way i want, He is sovereign.

and i can sit here and dwell in self pity {which sometimes seems like a good idea} or i can choose to rest in Him.

i'll choose the later.