bible study, boys, beautiful drinks

today has been an exhausting day.

don't know why, but i'm beat.

last night i spent several hours with the boys who are precious.

they slept a lot and i got lots of work done......PTL!

then, i headed to a bible study at the church.  

it was on 1 peter, but this was the last week....fail. 

i'll pick up with them in the winter, hopefully.

the women were awesome, and mollie invited me.

she is such a sweet heart and i can't wait to get to know her more.

there is this guy, gabe, who has been contacting me a lot.

we had lunch last week, and he asked me to go out to dinner with him tomorrow.

so i'm going. and nervous as all get out.

but this is a step in getting over my commitment fear {cause i don't even like letting guys take me on dates......so weird.  i know}.

but this will be nice to talk to a friend, who happens to be a boy.

wish me luck.

and today i got coffee with amanda c.

it was nice to catch up and hear what's been going on with her--which is a lot.

i am so thankful for friendships.  i don't know what i would do without them!

{at starbucks....my crib}

{the starbucks cups.  cuuute}

it's almost the weekend!

my best friend is legal.

this past weekend was my best friend's 21st birthday.

i can't believe that in 8th grade when we met, these days seemed so far away.  now they are passing us by!

she is in chile and so we got to skype, and talk at midnight her time.

i can't wait to celebrate with wine and girl time when we're both back.

{the birthday girl!}

then, we skyped last night for a loooong time.

and i'll tell ya.  it was such an amazing conversation.

we talked about some deep stuff.  some much needed stuff.

we have different religious views, but she teaches me so much.

we talked about how i have commitment issues due to things in my past, and same with her.  and we were able to try to process through that. 

and we also talked about other serious stuff like marriage and how there aren't many 'happily' married people now a day.

i wish the conversation didn't have to end, but it was getting late.

it was just so so good to talk to her.  i miss her so much.

and honestly?  we haven't had one of those super good convos in a while.

we haven't seen each other in person in almost a year now, so it's hard to have those deep converstaions when you're just skyping.

it was a blessing, and made me miss her so much more.

{both of us together...kinda}

 

then i got to be with the boys tonight.  they are getting so big!

they are so cute though, and still sleeping a lot.

which i am sure won't happen too much longer.

{cam cam}

{p man}

{sleeping the same way.  how precious}

i'm exhausted for some reason.

which is not good cause i have clinical soon.

i just need to sleep...for like a month.

how nice that would be.

refuge of hope.

this morning, me and two of my students, haylee and nik, helped volunteer at a men's homeless shelter {refuge of hope}.

i had never gone before, and it was one of the most rewarding things. 

the people were just wonderful.  and i had a great time. 

i would totally help more if i wasn't a nursing major. uggh.

then i just studied, and studied.

but julia and i are so so good right now. 

what a huge answer to prayer!

tomorrow is my best friend's birthday.

and i so badly wish i was with her to celebrate.

she's been my best friend since 8th grade.  that's a long time!

pretty uneventful weekend. 

more studying to come. 

theory exam on monday!!  yikes.

but good news.  we get a extra hour of sleep.

that makes me elated!!

shane and jillian

so i know i've mentioned that the church i've been going to, parkside, has been a big blessing.

well tonight we had a get together.

it was all the 'college' aged kids got together at our leaders, shane and jillian's, house.

we played 'fish bowl'--which they learned from scott and christina!

i was rule nazi and didn't do a great job...but i tried!

and then we played some mafia. 

i was for once part of the mafia!  

but apparentally it was super easy to tell and i was like the 3rd person out.

fail.

my student melissa went, too, and we had a great talk coming back.

she is a big blessing, and i am thankful she has been joining our little parkside group.  

shane and jillian have a son, simon, who is adorable.

he totally was attached to me and wanted me to hold him.

it was so good to be around the little guy.

i miss my little dudes.

speaking of, today i heard from rachel k-l.

actually, i txted her first.

i have NOT been able to stop thinking about them.

so i told her i was thinkin of them and hoped they were well.

she replied, and then i replied and asked what was new.

her response made me feel mixed.

rory has been promoted to kindergarden {from pre-k!} mid way through the year. and he is also reading 3 lettered words.  say what?!

my little man is getting so big.

and aubrey is laughing at funny things.  nooo way! 

it made me so sad, yet so happy.

i'm thrilled to hear they're doing well and life is going on.

but i'm heart broken that i wasn't informed of these things earlier.

my heart hurts without them.

and it's been really hard lately. 

but maybe this will be a good step in the healing process.

i can at least try to make it that....right?

also!  julia and i had a convo today.

it did not go as i kinda planned, but the outcome has been so much better.

like, oh my gosh!  this is how i thought it would be.

today was normal and we acted like friends.

she was able to say some thing, and so was i.

it was good to be on the same page.

i am praying this lasts and it's not just a one day kinda thing.

but either way, i am thankful for that one day!

it's late and i'm so so tired.

but i am beyond blessed, and i need to remind myself.

thanks, God, for the amazing gifts you've placed in my life.  i truly don't deserve any of them.  help me to put my hope, faith, and trust in You alone. give me patience, as You so graciously show to me.  and forgive me for the times i am not patient with You.  i love You so much and am so thankful for the things, especially friends, you have given me.  thanks dad.

and in honor of the boys i'm missing so much.

{feels like so long ago}

{my heart is right here in these three hands}

roommates.

i'm going to be honest here, i am struggling.

i am struggling with my living situations and having a heart after God in all the matter.

i am irritated, annoyed, and just flat out feel disrespected.

i feel i'm trying to be so selfless, but no one cares.

so yesterday i had dinner with kayla r. 

and our conversation was so encouraging and helpful.

i am finding i am not the only one who had felt this way.

i tried to seek council, but it's so hard to know what to do.

i am trying so hard to be a good roommate.

so why will she not talk to me?

why does she ignore me when i walk into the room and ask her about her day?

i thought i was going to be living with spiritually strong women.

how could this happen......again....

i am just discouraged and confused and not sure what to do.

but at the same time, it's not my place to say much about it.

i'm trying to stay humble in the matter and am in need of prayers.

today in the CE class it was so so good.

they talked and communicated and i loved it.

josh shared that 1 in 3 babies are switched at birth.

to which we said that could not possibly be true!

so we got in a huge discussion about it and it was filled with laughter.

then we figured out that 1 in 60,000 are switched at birth.

so we laughed some more about that.

then we all went to Chipotle tonight.

i hit a few {or maybe several} curbs and they made me aware! haha.

we spent an hour waiting on the van, because van 5 which we were supposed to take was gone.  like MIA.  so we waited for someone to help us and get us another van.

so haylee went to change into warmer clothes, and in the mean time we got a van.

then, we forgot haylee!  and we almost get there to discover it.

so we drove back.

then at in the freezing cold weather cause it was packed inside.

we had great conversation and 9 of my students came.

 success?  i'd say so!

then tonight was bible study.

and those women i admire so much.

they are so spiritually wise and i hope to get to that point some day.

we talk about giving thanks, even in the hard and horrible times.

the best best friend.

tonight i got to skype with my best friend.

and i tell you.  i get off the phone with her and always think:

' man, i have the best best friend ever'

cause i truly do.

she just got back from hiking the Inca Trail and seeing Mochu Piccu

i am so proud of her!

but we talked about life, and i asked her opinion on my friend gabe {who has been pursuing me}

we talked about my insecurities.  and how they need to leave.

we talked about how my family and siblings played a lot into that.

and how i come across as being confident but deep down i'm so not.

i just want to run when someone is interested.

and i don't know if it is cause i've never been treated like a Godly man should treat a woman?

or maybe that the it is just so rare that when it happens i am just so weirded out?

lots of hard questions and trying to realize some things.

she told me i was not allowed to 'f' this up.

then at the end of our awesome conversation, she says:

'look at me.  right in the eyes.  you are wonderful.  and beautiful.  and anyone who gets you is so lucky.  you are not going to get rejected.  you need to let someone love you.  cause i can't be the only person in the world who gets to love you'

she just made me feel a million times better.

then we messaged her mom to see if she thought gabe was cute haha.

tyler's comment is that he is cuter than the last boy i was crushing on.

she is such an amazing friend.

sometimes it's hard cause our religious differences.

but even through it all, she is such a blessing.

and has taught me so much.

i can't wait to see how she challenges me as we continue to grow old.

fun fact: today is a rare palindrome.  11.02.2001.

score.  happy hump day!

time flies.

tonight i spent the time with babies.

they are getting so big, and so so precious.

today they slept the whole time!  

i couldn't believe it. 

they were sleeping when i walked in, then ate, and went back to bed.

i got so much done.  score!

we got an assignment the first day of classes {august 29th} and it was due november 2nd.  we all thought it was so far away and couldn't believe they put the stress on us by giving it to us then.

well tomorrow?  is november 2nd.  holy moly! this can't be.

{peyton on left, cameron on right}

{such doll babies!}

don't you just want to squeeze them?!  

i love them to pieces!