shane and jillian

so i know i've mentioned that the church i've been going to, parkside, has been a big blessing.

well tonight we had a get together.

it was all the 'college' aged kids got together at our leaders, shane and jillian's, house.

we played 'fish bowl'--which they learned from scott and christina!

i was rule nazi and didn't do a great job...but i tried!

and then we played some mafia. 

i was for once part of the mafia!  

but apparentally it was super easy to tell and i was like the 3rd person out.

fail.

my student melissa went, too, and we had a great talk coming back.

she is a big blessing, and i am thankful she has been joining our little parkside group.  

shane and jillian have a son, simon, who is adorable.

he totally was attached to me and wanted me to hold him.

it was so good to be around the little guy.

i miss my little dudes.

speaking of, today i heard from rachel k-l.

actually, i txted her first.

i have NOT been able to stop thinking about them.

so i told her i was thinkin of them and hoped they were well.

she replied, and then i replied and asked what was new.

her response made me feel mixed.

rory has been promoted to kindergarden {from pre-k!} mid way through the year. and he is also reading 3 lettered words.  say what?!

my little man is getting so big.

and aubrey is laughing at funny things.  nooo way! 

it made me so sad, yet so happy.

i'm thrilled to hear they're doing well and life is going on.

but i'm heart broken that i wasn't informed of these things earlier.

my heart hurts without them.

and it's been really hard lately. 

but maybe this will be a good step in the healing process.

i can at least try to make it that....right?

also!  julia and i had a convo today.

it did not go as i kinda planned, but the outcome has been so much better.

like, oh my gosh!  this is how i thought it would be.

today was normal and we acted like friends.

she was able to say some thing, and so was i.

it was good to be on the same page.

i am praying this lasts and it's not just a one day kinda thing.

but either way, i am thankful for that one day!

it's late and i'm so so tired.

but i am beyond blessed, and i need to remind myself.

thanks, God, for the amazing gifts you've placed in my life.  i truly don't deserve any of them.  help me to put my hope, faith, and trust in You alone. give me patience, as You so graciously show to me.  and forgive me for the times i am not patient with You.  i love You so much and am so thankful for the things, especially friends, you have given me.  thanks dad.

and in honor of the boys i'm missing so much.

{feels like so long ago}

{my heart is right here in these three hands}