10.03.2011

night of worship, so badly needed.

last night i didn't post, but it was one of the best nights ever.
i was at our night or worship and how it was so needed.
being home feels like so long ago, but it was such a needed energizer.
just to be home, have good food, see my princesses, see my church family.
i needed every. bit. of. it.
and i was totally reminded how much i love my church family. 
they are the best.  no lies.

at church, i was greeted so warmly by so many.
was talking to the Hosler's and they were so encouraging.
then, mitch saw me and told me to, 'come here' gave me a big hug, and told me how good it was to see me.
then dan, brook, zach, bryce.....all so wonderful to see.

then night of worship blew my mind.
i started out the night talking to john and lindsay.
john asked how i was and realized i was being hesitant.
well, of course, he got down to the bottom of it and made me emotional.
i told him i was worried about my grades and how i was just overwhelmed and drained.

then, i ended up standing by him in worship.
at one point, chris said that if anyone needed encouragement, love, (and listed many other things) to come forward to they could pray for us.
so of course john starts hitting me an telling me to go up.
hesitantly at first, i went up.
and michelle e. came up and prayed for me.
i had never met her, but john told her to come pray for me.
she started praying and i got so emotional.
she asked me if i had relationships weighing me down.  uhhh, yes.  add that to the list.
then she said: 'what's going on?!' and i told her about school and how i needed encouragement.
she prayed some more and just said some amazing things.
and lindsay came and joined for a bit {then finlay got fussy and her duties called}.

then, michelle and i ended up talking just for a while.
about how God is bigger than the box we have him in.
and how i need to be talking to him so casual. and stomping my feet and telling Him i am having a bad day if that is the case.
and how through it all, it is most important to praise Him.
to see the storm, and say: 'Lord, this is hard.  but i will praise You through it'

and we talked about worry, and how i worry all the stinkin' time.
and she said i need to put it at the cross.  physically put it at the cross.
and when the bad thoughts come back in, say to the devil that God has those.  they're not mine anymore.
she talked about how God is faithful and merciful and loving and the beginning and end and all we need.  and how he might not always provide in the way we think.  but He will provide.  so we need to say that we KNOW you are faithful and that you have this.  so however you chose to do that, show me you're faithful.  He if full of surprises, and we need to let him surprise us.

see?  it was just so amazing.  and exactly what i needed to hear.
she told me she would keep praying for me.  and boy, i knew she meant it.

so tonight?  i wrote down my worries {note: these are not ALL my worries.  just the main ones right now}.

-not passing theory//clinical
-finances
-job next summer
-cultural trip
-not finding a husband

Lord, i put these at the Cross.  these worries are no longer mine...they're yours.  show me, in whatever way You choose, that you are faithful.  and that you will provide. 

He is so able, i just need to remember in the hard times.

oh, and we sang this new song that i looove.
chris wrote it:
'sing for joy, shout with gladness!
He has overcome the world, take heart!
PRAISE HIM, PRAISE HIM,
have no fear.
high and lifted up.
our Mighty God reigns!'

my church is awesome. and i love how so many people there are open to how God is going to use them. i want to get there. so so bad.

God has been doing some great things on my heart.  it's been a lot of refining, and i am hoping that all this is happening so that i can be so much stronger in Him.  that has to happen eventually...right?  LOL.

and tonight i had to watch some movie for extra credit.
and met a couple new brazilian guys who are in town. 
they are so cute and heather c. and i had a good time chatting with them before and after the movie.

i'm so tired.  survived monday....check!

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