11.11.11

well, they say that today {11.11.11} is the luckiest day.

so, why not have it marked on the calendar as my first date.

yes.  you read that right. tonight....i had my first date....ever.

i have been asked on dates before, but never went.

but tonight.  i went.  and i feel this was a big step.
his name is gabe lopez, and he goes to school with me.
he is hispanic.  just setting the mood :)

see, i have lots of commitment issues.

and i've been trying to work through them.

i have them for many reasons:

1.  i am scared of rejection.  the last time i let myself really like someone was freshmen year in HS {miles} and i got rejected.  not just by anyone, but for my sister.  that hurts.  and it's hard to get over that because i've never let myself like someone like that.

2.  with that, i also have a bad connotation when it comes to relationships....due to that memory.

3.  i haven't seen a good Godly relationship role modeled in my immediate life.  and my relationship with my dad has been rough.

no excuses, just trying to work through it all.

but i am good enough.  i am a child of God and loved so much.

i will find someone to love me just for that.

we had dinner at panera bread.

who goes to panera on their first date?  uh, me.

but let me be clear....it was not my choice haha.

  we had a good convo, nothing special.

one thing that caught my eye was that he doesn't really make me laugh.

ugh.  that's not usually a good sign.

then we went to el camps for some more food with some of his friends: amanda g., hope,  and jordan.

it was a nice time, but i totally felt like i was a bit out of the loop.

they all knew i was there with him.  kinda awkward.

some highlights:

--he made several flirty comments {i am 'adorable ann' and he said that was fitting}

--he asked intentional questions about family and such.

--he 'lies' about everything.  and when i believe it all, he says 'i'm just kidding'. uhh why can't you just tell the truth to begin with haha.

--he attempted to teach me spanish

--he said several times i should come to his hometown {philadelphia, PA}

--wanted me to hang out more, but told him i missed my girls.

  

i am hoping this is good in getting over my fear of relationships, because there is nothing wrong with going on a date with a guy--as much as i tell myself otherwise.

here are some pics of me getting ready. i love my girls:

{colleen doing my hair}

 

{and make up!}

{loove these girls}

 

{they're the best!}

it was an eventful day.

and i'm hoping that a lot was accomplished.

he has already txted me telling me how much fun he had.

but i'm tired and ready for bed.
and it's almost 11:11 pm.
so make a wish!