a good butt kicking

can i just take a minute to say that nursing school is kicking my boot-tay.

had our first theory exam, that one i felt confident about.

well, i failed.  so so badly.  

don't believe me?  68% was my score.

can you believe it?  who gets a score that low?!

it was a low scoring exam in general, and only a few i've known who got below the benchmark of 77% that we need to keep passing.

and i'll be honest.  i'm very nervous.

i'm having all these fears that i won't pass and that i am done for and can't recover.

and i know it is do-able to catch up, but boy will it be hard. 

i'm having slight anxiety about failing and trying to keep perspective.

it's one exam, and it's just a grade.  but i need this class to keep advancing.

and i had studied for this exam, which is part of the worry. it wasn't like i slacked off.

sure, i could have studied more, but it wasn't like i was under prepared. 

my mother told me it was ok and to just keep going.

which is good advice.  and i know i just need to hit the ground running.

kayla has been a great support, as she didn't do as well as she would have liked either.

and she sent me this verse "may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him" Romans 15:13.  

she also sent me this txt: 

'girl, i'm praying for you!  i know i am struggling with this test grade and i want you to know that i am praying for God to give assurance and courage to keep pressing on....i love you Ann, we can overcome!'

made my night.  God is so good with blessing me with amazing friends.

then, i was reading in Lamentations and came across this in 3:22-24:

"because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassion never fail.  they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  i say to myself, 'the Lord is my portion; therefore i will wait for him'"

God has a plan, and this is all fitting into it.

i'm hoping and praying His plan is to have me pass this year, while learning about trusting Him completely.

and i don't want to think about the idea of failing.  but know that would be His plan, too.  so let's pray for the former and know that He is able.  He will never leave me or let me walk alone.  He has overcome, and through His power in me, i can overcome too.

p.s...got to talk to tori tonight. what a needed therapy.

love and miss that girl.