mother dearest.

today was mothers day.  and i am so thankful for my mom.

she is so great.

raising 5 kids couldn't have been easy at all! 

but she did such an amazing job.

{all of us}

now i'll be honest, me and my mom didn't always get along.

quite the contrary.

i hate admitting it, but i used to hate my mother.

and for a period of 2 years, i barely spoke to her {from 6th-8th grade ish}

i tell ya, i was that super easy child all growing up.

did whatever i was told and if i did something wrong, all you had to do was say my name sternly.

and i was all tears.

then i hit 13 and it was like monsters took over my body.

i became evil.

yeah....not one my prouder moments.

i like to blame some of it on the fact that my mom is a christian and my dad isn't.

that makes for a rough household.

plus, my faith didn't become important to me till 2007.

none of these excuse my behavior in any way shape or form.

i dont know why--well, thats a lie, i do know why--i didn't like my mom.

{my senior choir concert. may 2009. i look like such a young little thing.}

there were many things that attributed to this dislike:

1. my mother and sister have always been super close.  there are only 2 girls in my family, so i felt that i was 'less loved', if you will. my mom and my sister struggle at times too, don't get me wrong.  but my mom and sister are like two peas in a pod. so it was easier for them to get along. {now that my faith is important to me, my mom and i have something in common}. everyone knew and loved my older sister.  and she's great, really. but it was so hard in HS always being 'kelly's sister'. i was never ann. so this was just the icing on top of the cake.

2. being the 'good' child in the family, i got a lot of heat for everyone else.  my sister would disobey {like that time she had a secret cell phone} and i would get in trouble somehow.  either it was because i didn't tell my parents or because i knew and didn't stop her.  i didn't understand why her actions should be my responsibility. 

3.  i would also get the 'you are a Christian and should know better' phrase a lot. my sister and i would both disobey, but cause i was a Christian, i got in trouble.  uhh lame. it often times made me not want to be a christian. 

4. my mom has a big mouth.  i love it and have the gift of gab myself.  but i felt i couldn't trust her. and i didn't like that.

5. i felt very under appreciated.  i sould like a pansy saying this. but i helped out a ton around the house. and no one ever noticed...or thanked me.  heck, it's probably what a parent feels like 99.999% of the time.  but i wasn't the parent yet. 

6. i think my mom will deny it, but she said some really hurtful things to me at certain points in my life. when we were in plays together, she would tell me that none of the older kids liked me or wanted to be friends with me. tell that to a teenage girl and that's a train wreck waiting to happen. self-esteem is already low....didn't need it lowered more.

{my HS graduation. may 31st 2009.}

mind you, all these things i am totally over. 

just trying to give an understanding of why things were rocky for a quite a while.

i know that i am so blessed and fortunate to have a mother that is alive and healthy.

one that helps me financially, emotionally, spiritually.

and as i matured, i saw all these things.

when i went away to college was when i first noticed a change in my heart.

i had been praying a lot {and being at malone was wonderful for this} and was able to appreciate her more.  

no one was doing my dishes or making my food.

hmmmm, i was seeing she did more than i thought!

and the appreciation grew more and more!

{thanksgiving 2010}

life is tough. and i sure as heck think mom's deserved to get honored more than once a year.

they put up with so much and are constantly giving of themselves.

i can't wait to be a mom someday--but then i think about how hard it will be!

i'm certainly not ready for that kind of sacrifice yet.

{wicked the musical.....fall 2010}

my mom shops in the sale section, never has a new car, and puts herself last.

alll the time.

i don't know how she does it.

she never complains.....not once!

and here i complain about stupid stuff all the thing.

material things.

how i don't have 'enough'.

and she gives so willingly.

{picking out the christmas tree....2010}

{the winning tree....it was so perfect}

{and the final product. vana white style.}

my mother is crazy.

she does all those video contests for 'regis and kelly', makes goat noises at public dining places, loves to be the center of attention, and so much more.

but she's my mom.

and i love her for all those things. and wouldn't trade her for another!

{mothers day. 2011. didn't get a picture when we were all nice. so this was before bed.}

and through all this, i'm realizing that i barely have pictures with my mom. 

someday she will be gone and i will want memories.

so i need to make more of an effort to take pictures.

time is slipping away faster than i even though it could.

to celebrate my amazing mom, we went to bobby and molly's house this afternoon.

did a cookout and had a good time.

bobby taught me how to throw a frisbee.  

man, he is such a keeper.

i love him { and all my bros } a lot.

i hope to marry someone like him someday--with the added attribute of loving Jesus.

i hope i can be half of the mom that my mother is.

her patience, love, and understand are incredible.

everyone says they have the best mom, and i will say the same.

it wasn't always rainbows and butterflies, but i wouldn't be who i am without her and the struggles we endured.

i am thankful she kept me around through it all :]

thanks mom for all you do.

i could never thank you enough.