i don't want to go back to school.

today was the easiest babysitting day i've had in a while.

practially had 1 kid the whole day.

either one was sleeping, at VBS.  i had all three for a couple hours at the end but no biggie.

we even made brownies {which i bribed them with all day haha}

{we all know the best part of baking is licking the bowl!}

then i had the womans bible study and i cannot even tell you how thankful i am for them.

i know i say it a lot but they have been a huge blessing.

lindsay was even talking about how she is not wanting liv and i to go back to school.

i told her i was already depressed about it, too.

and speaking of, john {the pastor} and i got into a discussion about depression.

he asked if i was a good kid...whatever that means.

so we got into a discussion, and then he asked me if i am always so up-beat.

i said 'yes'...but felt kinda convicted. cause you know what?  when my seasonal depression comes i'm not like this.  at all. 

but why didn't i say anything?  cause there were about 6 people around.

and i am so bummed at myself that i didn't say anything cause i feel God has been telling me to be more open about the topic.

but i was embarrassed.  so i went up to him at the end and told him i struggle with that and felt bad for not saying something earlier.  so we talked a bit about it, and it was nice.

it was so nice to talk with someone who was understanding.

i really wish i had the opportunity to get to know him more.  but i know he is a busy busy man.

one thing John did was ask me if i have prayed for healing from depression.
and i have never even thought about it.  how stupid could i be?!
so now i am going to pray that God takes it away.  and if he does, awesome.  if not, God is still good and will give me the strength to get through.

anyways, i am going to miss this bunch so very badly in the fall. 

i just want to spend so much time with them NOW. but know that is hard to do.

i only have 8 weeks left when i'm home....how depressing is that!

i am hoping for a good day tomorrow with the kiddos.

it's tuesday...almost half way done with the week!