cheers, 2011.

it's so crazy to think that tomorrow is the last day of the year 2011. 

how does it go so fast?!  

as i reflect on the year, here are some personal highlights:

--i completed my first real clinical rotational (and then another one!). 

--i completed my 3rd half marathon--the Columbus cap city.

--i got the amazing opportunity to attend a new church and get really involved.  i met some of the most amazing people in the process.

--i went on my first 17 day vacation with a family who is not my own.  fun....yet challenging.

--i went through the grieving process {and still am} with a family i love more than anything.  all because of a decision made with good intentions. i had to feel how the heart can literally ache in the absence of those you love (missing my sweet aidan, rory and aubrey). 

--i got to be a 'returning' CA, and a small group leader.  this position has blessed me so much the last two years.  my small group was amazing, and it's the best one i've had yet.  we all connected so well and i felt like we could share anything.  what a blessing true friendships are.

--i turned 21 years old.  helllllo accomplishment!

--i ran, and completed, my first Warrior Dash with 9 of my closest friends.  great life choice.

--while i got to be a big part of my now 'home church', i also found an amazing church back at school, Parkside.  i got to experience what it is like to not want to go home, because you love your church at school, too.  while VGF is my home, Parkside is a great 'second' home!

--i started part-time nannying for an amazing family with a set of twin boys (born 9-12-11). they have brought so much sunshine to a challenging semester--not to mention, their parents have been awesome too!

--i went on my first date EVER with a guy.  this was one thing i wanted so badly this year (not only to date, but to make that big step in my commitment phobia).  i actually had two '1st dates' with two different people {gabe and mike} and then got asked by alex but couldn't.  holy year of getting asked on dates {for my record!}

--i also went on my 'first' 2nd date with a guy.

--i survived the first half of my junior year.  i officially have more completed school than there is to finish.  what a great feeling!

and throughout the year, the Lord has been teaching me so much.  i have learned about my arrogance, humility, insecurities and many other things.  He has been refining me and i know He is doing amazing things through all the challenges that have come about.  while this year has been so challenging--with all the learning, and then the almost failing nursing--it has amazed me to look back and see that the Lord was with me every step of the way.  He has never left my side.  what an amazing feeling of comfort and love that has been. without my Savior, my life wouldn't be the same. 

i get to bring in the new year tomorrow with some amazing women. 

looking forward to the celebrations of the new year, and all that 2012 will bring.  

2011 has been a good year...and i hope 2012 is even better :)

ann and bishop=AB=amanda bishop and annabelle.

today was lots of ann and bishop time.

it was so awesome.

i am beyond blessed by her friendship.

i made her family a big meal, and someone left her fridge door open so it was perfect timing.  everything last night got spoiled.  great timing on my part to cook for today!

then, we all ate {it was so so good} and then bishop and i took it to her dad.

i tell ya, he is so sweet. and i like him a lot.

he told me to remember what it's like to be a patient and how it can be lonely and humbling.

and it was really good for me to hear as a nursing student.

i pray that i am a good nurse and never forget this is someone's family.

and treat them with the respect i would want.

oh, i also got to meet baby sydney today!  so precious.

then we went to bishop's starbucks on the way back and then khols.

and then we went to her house and watched 'he's just not that into you'

we had a glass of wine and just relaxed.

it is one of my favorite movies.  so cute...and cliche.

but a good one, for sure.

bishop loved it :)

so i saw her from 4 pm-12:45 am.....and didn't get sick of it one minute.

we're both going to passion...and i can't WAIT.

{love this woman to pieces}

lookin sexy in our new books!

friends at starbucks!

today i spent the whole day cooking.  yum.

then brook came over and we cooked some more and went to visit bishop at work.

she works at starbucks so you can't go wrong with a visit! 

{brooks awesome cup!}

{her reaction to her awesome cup}

{my coffee....made with love}

{our favorite barista!}

we sat and talked for almost two hours...then she had to ask us to leave so she would stop getting distracted and do her job.  oops.

i love that bishop {and brook} so so much! 

so blessed by their friendships.  i'm so undeserving.

annnnd only 4 days till Passion!

eden marie and jen k.

today i spent most of the day in the kitchen...LOOOVE!

had two new recipes today.

one lemon cookie things--which i didn't think i was a huge fan of.  then, i couldn't keep my hands off of them!  guess i liked them more than i thought haha.

and then some scallop meat, cheese and onion dish.

it was pretty good too!

my friend nate commented on my facebook status and said, 

'you are going to make your future husband one happy guy!'

but more importantly, i spent the day meeting eden marie, cassie and josiah's baby.

she was born last week and is such a doll.

i made them dinner and then got a baby fix.

{sweet eden! with so so much hair. and looks just like her daddy.}

then, i went to jen k.'s for dinner.

it was a great time to catch up on life.

i even helped her re-do her cabinets in the kitched LOL.

it was actually pretty fun, and i enjoy helping her out.

plus, she gave me some dishes/towel stuff for a future apartment.  score.

i got to ask her a lot of Godly advice and it was so nice.

i really do love {and miss} her. 

and Henry, aka precious, was pretty good too.

he would talk about his dad {who was killed in a farm accident when he was 5 months old} and say he was in Heaven with God.  it was really sweet.

{helping with the cabinents}

{what a pro!}

{the three of us!}

oh.  and the other night mike asked me if i would like to get together when i came back from break.

he siad he has enjoyed the time we have spent together.

i had to be honest.

i'm just not feeling it.

so i told him that i have had a nice time getting to know him, too, and that his heart for the Lord is super admirable.  but i told him i had to be honest with him in the fact that i didn't know if i saw this as more than a friendship.  and i didn't want to give him false indications. 

he said he was sorry to hear that and understood.  and didn't want to bother me so to have a good break.

i felt awful.  but i don't want to lead him on.

well, that's the latest!

OH, and got a Passion packing list.

i can't WAIT to go.  

God is going to do amazing things--i just know it!

columbus brewing co.

another family dinner.

this time at the columbus brewing company.

lots of beer tasting was going on, but i have not {nor do i want to!} acquired that taste. haha

but it was a good last hang out before the visiting fam goes back to cali.

the food was pretty good, i had some lobster bisque soup!

a little spicy but really good

pics are a little blurry, but no flash helps depict the mood better.

 

{the girl cousins}

{across the table}

{just loved this shot! get that bite, bobby!}

 

oh, and i got out of house sitting a whopping 4 days early!

while i'm a bit bummed, this means i get to sleep in my own bed.

and that's just awesome.

merry christmas: 2011

big gardner gathering at my aunt's tonight.

some family in from cali, too.

was a fun {yet exhausting!} day.

{they planned this}

{me, diana, kel}

{everyone who was there!}

{the gardners....and some dogs}

{my immediate family.  a good lookin bunch!}

so thankful that my Savior was born this day so many years ago.

my life wouldn't be the same without Him.

Merry Christmas!

this day can be done now.

today is a day that needs to be over.

not a horrible day, just ready to be done with it!

this morning it started off that i was going to take mia, the dog i am house sitting for, on a run.

i was told that would be OK.

so i call my parents to tell them to keep OUR dogs OUT of the backyard for a couple minutes so i can change and leave mia in the backyard.  

turns out, in those 2 minutes that i called home and got there, my dad let the darn dogs out.

so i get there, get her off a leash, and hear shaggy.

i instantly think "OH CRAP" and should have put mia's leash back on.

but no.  and she ran toward him.

i went to grab him and i think she thought he was at her legs and she kinda lost her balance.

so then she started going after him. 

and he's like way smaller than she is anyways!
i instantly start freaking out.

i'm trying to hit mia cause i don't want to get in the middle of it, in case she is biting him.

then, i just have to grab her neck and lay on her, while yelling 'HELP!' as loud as i can.

my mom comes out {in what seemed like forever!  but reality she was real quick...just everything in slow motion for a bit} and gets shaggy.

and i instantly start shaking.  that has never happened to me before.

i could not control it.  it was scary/weird.

then i started crying a bit just cause i was scared, not cause i was hurt or in pain.

that will totally throw you off.

so then i decided that i probably shouldn't chance taking her in case we run into other dogs.

so i rush her home, and ran by myself.

meanwhile, i am telling my dad, 

'i JUST called and told you not to let him out!'

to which he replies,

'have you never made a mistake?!'

not an 'i'm so sorry, honey' or anything of that matter.

which then made me so irritated.

can't you just be stinking sorry?!  

yes, i've messed up so so much.  but i apologize when i realize i'm in the wrong {sometimes not right away...but eventually the Spirit gets to me}

ugh.

but Christmas eve service tonight was really good....what else would i expect.

i was supposed to sit with lindsay and kelsi but they were late and it was packed.

so since i got there, oh 20 minutes early, i sat with Leona {and a couple adults i didn't know}

i know they don't mind, and are totally my church family.

but honestly?  at times like these i feel like i am intruding.

like, this is family time.  not 'friend' time.

and i feel like i am intruding and being invasive.

which i know is not how they see it at ALL.

but i still feel like that a lot of the times.

i know i know...it's stupid.  and part of the whole insecurities thing.

but i need to get to bed, so i'll leave you with what i wore tonight.

look familiar?  i wore it last with at my bro and SIL's house :)

cause no one tonight saw me in it.

{excuse the messy room. it has since been cleaned up}

as leona would say {when she saw me}, 

'ho. ho. ho!'

merry Christmas eve!

oh my cuteness.

had a great coffee date with bishop.

she is awesome.

and i often feel too cool to be worthy of her friendship.

but she's still awesome :).

and i got a new phone!  

but lost all contacts cause my father didn't believe me that my phone was dying.  so we waited till it was DEAD to get a knew one.  i'm still a bit bitter on the subject, can you tell!?  lol.

but this is the picture i received today.

made my heart melt and i couldn't help but think

HOLY CUTENESS!!

{he looks SO different from the last time i saw him. so big!}

oh how i miss his sweet little face!

putt putt and cheesecake

today was the big day and another first.

my first 2nd date with a guy.

started off with him calling to tell me he was going to be 2 hrs late {due to car trouble}

i was secretively disappointed and kinda ok with it.

figured it would be short and sweet.

so we met at 3:45 at a glow in the dark putt putt place.

it was fun.  not great, not bad.  had potential but you know.

it only took us about 40 minutes, then we headed to easton.

we went to cheese cake factory and got cheesecake.

i got the coffee one and he the reece's one.

we sat and talked for an hour and then went our separate ways.

oh but wait, he got me a  little gift.

a mixed CD with some chocolate covered pretzels and a stuffed dog.

it was super sweet of him, but i don't know what to think of getting a gift already!

honestly?  he is a great guy.

smart and loves Jesus.

but his personality?  super dry.

and i discovered that today.

it was good, but it was just a bit boring.

so, i don't know if there will be a third date.

but we will see.

BUT we got these awesome bracelets at putt putt.  so that's good :)

{glow in the dark bracelet!}

{what i wore today--minus the long gray cardigan handing out haha}

who knows where it will go from here.

i'm housesitting right now so a peaceful night for me!

a big step was even going out again, so i'm proud i gave it a fair shot.

praying for wisdom on the situation!

the chosen child.

it was another average day, with some cooking involved.

today was a big test of my cooking abilites.

i was given no recipe or hint as to what could be for dinner.

so i created my own thing.  i had no clue if it would work out, but it was the only choice.

i did chicken, and then put potatoes and carrots in the same pan to bake.

and you know what, it was delicious!!  

i feel like a true cook cause i made something without instruction.

for me, i feel this is a big stepping stone in my cooking career!  

teena and don stopped by quickly and it was so good to see them!

tonight, my mom and daniel caught the last little bit of Elf.

such a cute movie.  

my mom made a comment to daniel that she could be doing more embarrassing things like dressing up like an elf and walking around.

to which my brother replied:

'mom, you already did!'

he was referencing to the elf adventures she had last weekend at my bro and SIL's party.

so so funny that little one is.

robin called while dinner was almost done--it's been the 3rd night in a row i have made dinner.

while i was talking to her and waiting for my mom to walk in, she heard my mom freak out when she saw i made dinner again. 

{it was real cute actually.  she also left me a voice mail today saying how much she appreciated when i did that}.

and today i learned that i am referred to as the 'chosen child' by robin.

you know, i like the sound of that :)

tomorrow i have a date and start house sitting.  

let the fun times roll!

baking and Jesus.

yesterday i did something i loooove.

i baked!  and even did a new recipe.

i made banana break--and we have it coming out our ears.

that's what you get when you double a recipe that is already doubled!  oops.

then i made a new velvet cream cheese cookies.

they're red velvet, with cream cheese filling in the middle.

they're good, but i think i like chocolate better.

and while i was baking, i got to listen to sermons online.

two of my favorite things.....it was a good day :)

did both of those things today and got to meet the newest johnson baby, teak :).

he is adorable!  he's got huge cheeks and i spent an hour with the fam just talking.

i love tasha and josh so much.  wish i knew them better.

AND baby Eden Marie was born this morning!

i am so so happy for Cassie.

she was wanted to have her so so bad. 

i can't wait to meet her next week.

also, yesterday i had my first womanly annual check up. 

i have a mid-wife, not a gynocologist. 

who knew id be the ONLY non-pregnant woman there!

i'm sure they were all thinking i was pregnant when i was just there for a check up. i promise. oops!

mike and i are getting together thursday for several hours.

i am beyond nervous.

prayers would be appreciated!

bobby and molly 1st christmas party!

last night, my bro and sis in law had their first big christmas party.

lots were invited and lots came.

i didn't even know many of the people.  

but it was a blast regardless.

santa decided to make a visit, 

and my mom thought it would be a good idea to be his side-kick.

no other words are needed at this time:

{me and kel}

{the fam!}

{john and his gf, beth.  looove her!}

{me and my big sis}

 

{bob and dan}

 

there were many many more pics, but i had to cut it off here.

and then elizabeth came and stayed the night cause she was meeting duncan near me and didn't want to drive all the way back home.  we stayed up late and talked and then went to my church.

which, by the way, i love more than anything!

i am just so so blessed and can't get over it.  

marilyn came up and asked about mike, and john overheard.

he asked me why i was hiding from him and that he wanted to know more soon.

they're just so intentional.  john told me he cna't believe i didn't tell him sooner.

i told him i know he is busy and has a lot on his plate.  he told me that was bogus and that i need to stop thinking i am not important.

he said he was my family and he loved me.

those words?  meant so so much to me.

the sermon toady was on living a lie and talked about the lies we live.

well i was so talked to because i believe i am not good enough.

i have so many insecurities and feel so unworthy of so much.

{not that it isn't bad to feel appreciative, but there's a fine line}

and i need to pout into the Lord more to start believing truth.

when he did an altar call, i just had to go up.

i had that burning-heart pounding-lump in throat feeling.

so i went up to pray and kelsi came up to pray with me.

just that support and comfort was huge. 

i don't know where i would be without so many of them.

i just wish school was so much closer to here :(

but i'm going to enjoy the time i have.

it's 9 pm and i'm off to bed.

i've gotten almost 12 hours of sleep a night and still exhausted!

{one last family photo!}

i just love the holiday season!

egg free, milk free sugar cookies!

today, at the cowies we decided to bake.

it literally took us all morning.  and i'm so glad.  we had so much fun!

sarah was the sprinkle monster and i had to tell her a million times to stop eating them!

i guess it's hard for a 2 year old to not eat junk food in from of them.

heck, it's hard for this 21 year old to not eat it when it's in front of her!

it was a long day and i was reminded that i have lost a lot of my patients.

don't know how i did this all summer long every day. whew.

{i don't know why it flips this!}

by the end of our cooking adventures, i was covered in flour!

i'm gonna sleep well tonight!

my crush: tim tebow!

my first full day without school and it has been wonderful!

i can already tell break is going to fly by!

babysat for a couple hours today and then went on a run......which is something i have not done in a long long time.  felt so good!  one of my goals is to get back into regular exercise this break.

tonight, my mom turned to me and said,

'we need to get you a date with tim tebow'.  

BEST. IDEA. EVER!

a gorgeous man who adores jesus?  yes please.

and apparently her friend, donna, is sorority sisters with his mom. 

uhhhh, it won't happen but i wouldn't be sad if it did LOL. 

i recently discovered that i am allergic to red die, particularly in make up.

so any purples, reds, or pink eye shadow make my skin get welts.

it's pretty gross looking, and rather painful.

well i did some research and found that there are words that mean red dye but have the 'non tradition' red dye name, and found an eyeshadow that supposedly doesn't have any of those ingredients.

it's still purple {purple is my favorite eyeshadow!} so i ordered it.

well i tried it on today and i had NO reaction!!!  success.

who knows if a reaction will happen the next time i wear it, but i'm hoping this is promising.

{we learned in patho that it takes a second exposure for an allergy to act up.  but since i've worn purple eyeshadow before i'm hoping that doesn't apply in this condition}.

and best of all, only 18 days till i leave for Passion!!!

{here is a pic from our warrior dash.  we had no clue who these guys were!}

i passed.

so many thoughts are in my head as i write this post.

first and fore most, i passed theory.

{by one stinking point, for real!}

God is so good, and i am so undeserving.

i really can't believe it and am just so shocked.

i am honored to be able to get an education and continue on in the program.

but boy is next semester going to be a constant stress.

i am hoping to never ever be in this position again.

many of us (including myself) failed the final--meaning below a 77%.

but i did my best and could not have gotten through these last couple weeks without some aweosme people.

miriam and jess really helped.  they were there to help me study and to listen and be a support.

i just can't believe another semester is already come and gone.

5 down, and only 3 more to go!

i now look forward to a semi-relaxing break filled with lots of SLEEP!

don't forget your kegal.

well, exam week is full in swing.  

two down, one to go!

theory this morning was hard.  so we'll see how that goes.

but patho i only need a 30% to still pass the class.  

i should be more than fine.

but while i need to be studying (and have been doing laundry, making phone calls, cleaning...aka everything to NOT be studying), i will leave you with this thought.

we have this in our bathroom above the toilet paper.

so from our suite to yours!

even when life gets busy,

don't forget the kegal :)

christmas dinner, menchies and ugly sweater party.

yesterday was a bunch of craziness.

it was malone's christmas dinner, but i missed it :(

i was bbsitting and the parents were a bit late so i was going to be back at 6 15 ish and everyone was heading up at 6 to get seats.  well, who wants to get ready by themselves?  and head up like over 30 minutes late?  no one.  so i let my bad mood get the best of me. 

plus, it was a combo of several things that had happened earlier--them not going to the late dinner for me because ben couldn't go late so they all went early.  and then only when they had clinical decided to go late.  i didn't feel like they even wanted me there, so that didn't help.

and the only one who made me feel like i was somewhat wanted was rachel s. 

instead, i went and got subway and ate it in my room.  but before i got there abby c. stopped me.

i knew it was going to be bad because as soon as she said 'hey ann!' i lost it.

just started crying and venting about things that have been going on all week.

but it was a great talk with her about life and other things.

but got it off my chest and was able to study with miriam for this horrible test tomorrow!

i am so blessed that miriam is helping me (hopefully) pass this exam!

but that's another thing--i'm secretively hoping i fail.

i don't want to do nursing.  i don't feel it's where i am to be.

nor is it what i love.  and i know there are several options in nursing but still.

so if i pass--which i need a 66% so i should--i will feel even more trapped.

but i have to trust that the Lord's will is what will prevail.

and last night we had a ugly sweater christmas party with some girls.

when elizabeth and i were on our way to get a gift {i bought an apron and her a foot warmer}, we decided to stop at this new place called Menchies.

it is a frozen yogurt place where you make your own and then pay by the weight.

everyone has been talking about it so we thought we needed to try, too.

but we passed it on the strip and were waiting to get on the highway.

and elizabeth and i thought we should go--so i did an illegal U turn.

i was terrified i was going to get arrested and screamed the whole time, but we made it!

when we got there, we were a mess.

elizabeth tried to sample, using her finger (which was my bright idea) and it did  not work.

and we were dropping things left and right.  and these two cute guys made fun of us the whole time.

but it was oh-so-delicious!

{yummm!}

then we had an ugly sweater gift exchange. 

i got a new scarf and earings that i cant wait to wear!

picture overload!

{my suitie!}

 {loooove them!}

{we rock those ugly sweaters!}

{then for some reason we decided to start caroling.  hello there mouth}

{all of us! alyssa, rach, ashley, elizabeth, me, sarah}

so so blessed for each of them!

can't believe exams are tomorrow.

so ready to get these over with.

i'll be home in two short days!

a series of 'firsts' and 'lasts'

1.)  i got my first package from a 'secret admirer' i think it was ezra cause he sent them to 100 people.  but still, it is fun regardless :).

{have an awesome Christmas.  from: secret admirer}

2.)  i went to my FIRST phil wickham concert!  soo amazing.  it was wonderful to be able to praise the Lord with some of my favorite artists.  they did a mix of Christmas music and songs from their new CD's.  an then some worship songs everyone knew.  he was just as good, if not better, in person.  his voice was so heavenly.  i got chills several times throughout the night.  shane and shane were there too and i didn't know much of their stuff.  but their song called 'without you' is my theme song these next few weeks.  i can't wait to see him in concert again....hopefully SOON! and we sat by a girl from malone whose in laws sat next to us.  what a small world.  oh, and miriam told me she thinks i look 23 or 24 years old!  those words NEVER are said!!

{me and miriam went!  love this girl! and she shares my love for phil}

{oh my.  someone pinch me!}

{shane and shane, and phil!}

{one more just for good measures}

3.)  i finished my first last day of clinical for junior year.  i seriously loved this group of ladies and one gentleman!  they have been so amazing and i am going to miss them all.  we got along so well and felt like a little family. i even made some amazing friendships through this group, mainly jessica. and as much as it sometimes was slow on the unit, i do love maternity much more than med-surge! LOL.

{susan the instructor, angie, sarah h., ashley s., ashton, janet l., jess w., me, and john}

4.) today was my last college experience class....ever!  such a bitter sweet feeling.  i sat there and just kept thinking 'i can't imagine not doing this next year.'  but i know it's time.  this program has blessed me more than i can express or could ever have imagined.

{whole class. section 3!}

{funny faces!  i will miss them so so much.}

5.)  i spent my last thursday with the twins till after break--weird!!

{me and cam. he looks totally out of it and fell asleep about 2 minutes after this pic}

6.)  a not so great first.  i failed my third theory exam this semester *gulp*.  thought i did very well and knew the material but i guess not.  there is a bit of pressure going into the final and i am so freaking out.  i need to get a 76% on the final.  which doesn't sound horrible.  but i haven't gotten over than but ONCE all semester.  holy moly! me?  failing classes?!  this is SOOO not me.  so, i trust that the Lord has a plan in all of this.  and this is why 'without you' has been my song.  it is inspired from in exodus when Moses is looking at the promised land and says to the Lord that he doesn't want to go into the promised land unless the Lord and His presence are with him.  and if going to the promised land means His presence is gone, Moses doesn't want to go to this PROMISED land. wow. that's some powerful stuff.

here are some lyrics: 
'here i am, i'm calling out father

can you hear me?  can you hear me?

i don't want to go with you.

here i am, can you talk a little louder?

so i can hear you, i wanna hear you.

i don't want to move without you'

and 

'if your presence stays, i don't want to go.

and if your presence goes i don't wanna stay"

and this has been my prayer the last several days.  Lord, i don't want to go onto next semester if you're not with me.  if i am not to pass, and if that means that your presence stays with me, then that's what i want.  i will do whatever You want.  cause i don't want to go anywhere without You.  cause i can't do this without you.  i know i can't do this alone.  and if your plan is to have me not pass this semester--as scary, humbling, humiliating and not ideal as that is--i will trust You.  and if Your presence coming with me means i pass, than i will accept that and do the best i can with that {even though i'm not sure i want to do nursing}  so yeah, i'm in love with this song.  touching my heart now.  

those are my first and lasts for now....now time to study for my LAST set of exams for the semester!!