goooo tribe!

last night, i went to my FIRST indians game!

i feel like i died and went to heaven.  it was wonderful.

i've been wanting to go for years and was supposed to go with jake.

well, then the circumstances changed.

but katie w. {a friend from clinical who i was at the PSC with} offered me 4 free tickets.

what a huge blessing!!

i went with elizabeth, janet, and kayleigh.

it was so fun and i hope to go again!

the game was pretty slow up until the 8th inning.

the indians were down 4 and then came up to only being down by 2 going into the 9th inning.

THEN!  they scored 2 runs to tie it up!  it was soo crazy and so good!

we were standing and going nuts.

but then, they had to go to extra innings.

we stayed 1 extra inning and then left.

turns out they went till 14 whopping innings!  and they lost.

glad we didn't stay, that's for sure.  

but so glad we went!  got home around midnight and crashed.

sooo blessed to go to this amazing game with amazing women :)

{at the malone game earlier in the day}

 {before we left!}

{we just got there!!}

{at the game!}

{my $7 YOLO cup LOL. great hot chocolate, but burnt my tongue!}

{can't wait to go again!}

{me and my girl!}

goodbye ryan.

last night we had a little get together to send ryan off.

in just a couple days he leaves for africa for 8 months!

so we ate, drank {water}, and played games one last time.

chicken parmesan was delicious.

playing 4 on a couch?  wonderful.

{except we played boys v. girls and we lost.  how did that happen!?  we so had it and made one bad mistake and POOF! they win. lame}

but the company?  the best. ever.

i just love this group of people that the Lord has placed in my life.

we can't wait to hear about how the Lord uses this trip to bless Africans, and also bless Ryan in the process.

here's to AFRICA!

{the whole gang}

{silly faces}

{all the ladies}

{gosh.  we're cute}

clinical yesterday.

well this week has been bu-sy! 

had a community exam today and it was rough.

i had been studying a lot for it and it just wasn't what a lot of us expected.

but haven't seen grades yet, so we'll see.

i was at the pregnancy support center yesterday for clinical and oh my gosh.

such a life changing place!

all those women are so enveloped in the love of God it's unreal.

they always pray before the day//meetings//ultra sounds as a staff.

and they get to pray with patients.

i was at clinical with katie w. in my group who is amazing.

she is a mom of 2 kids and i admire her a lot.

she knew the women, bethany, who was at the PCS and was amazing.

katie shared a lot about her past and my heart breaks for her.

her father recently passed away and won't get to see her graduate nursing school

{and she never graduated from HS}

how i take my living parents for granted, that's for sure.

katie went home for our dinner break and invited me with her.

i tell ya, i love getting to know people's families.

her kids were adorable and her husband is so nice.

and we had lasagna, which is my favorite food.  score!

i just really was touched by the day and the ministry they have.

and the fact that i got to know katie a lot better.

i'm hoping to get to go to her house more soon {and she's already invited}.

life is just so precious and amazing.

and seeing that little heart flutter so fast on the ultra sound was unreal.

i know moms have already been through this, but it's my first experience.

what an amazing miracle from God.  i hope to be able to help at a place like that someday.

our motto.

last night, me and my girls went out.

and by out, i mean thrifting!

we had an event called the 'best for less'.

we were to go to the goodwill and get an outfit for under $10.

the one with the best outfit, wins!  

{and by wins, we mean they get bragging rights!}

so, off we went.

we had about an hour and 15 minutes, which was not enough if you ask me!

i had a lot to try on, but not a lot was fitting right.

anyways, i came away with a cute shirt.

while we were there, a woman working kept thanking one of the women with our group.

she said it was such a joy to see us interacting with each other in a positive and uplifting way.

{i am sure it is because women these days refer to each other as b****.  

ummm that's not how me and my girls roll.  we're all about love}

she said we made her night and she just loved seeing our event.

our motto {compliments of miriam} recently has been this:

we want to live like Jesus, 

and look like a j.crew model.

after this comment?  i would say we totally completed that task!

i love these women and how they bring me closer to the Lord.

they show me His love in amazing ways and let me be who i am.

so thankful for our fun event and look forward to doing it again soon :)

{watch. out. CANTON.  my ladies are smokin'}

post DTR.

this past week we had a continuation to the DTR.

let me back up to a conversation i had the other day.

on tuesday, i was in quiet time with the Lord.

i had been praying for wisdom and knowledge and discernment.

and all the sudden i felt the Lord say, "let it go.  just let it go."

i said, "but Lord, that's awkward now because we already said we were interested in each other."  

He again told me to let it go....to which i rudely said,

"well fine, Lord.  if i have to let it go than you're going to have to bring the opportunity becuase i don't want to bring it up to him."

He said: "don't worry.  i will.  just let it go"

that night, i knew it wasn't my thoughts just thinking that because i was so discouraged.

i sat there and prayed "Lord, i am SO tired of waiting.  that's all i am doing.  is waiting!"

and honestly?  i get so tired of it.  i feel i get teased with these guys who have such great qualities, except one major one.  and it's on to the next guy.

why can't they just be the one?!  

but in the mist of this thought, it was followed by,

"but Lord, i believe your will and ways are higher than mine.  and i trust you.  and i know that when the time is right, You will provide"

so the next night i get a txt message that says he wants to talk and go on a walk.

i instantly knew this was the Lord giving me an opportunity, and right then and there was not wanting to get what i prayed for haha.  

but we talked.  and he wanted to go farther.  but i had to let it go.

i had to share concerns about the spiritual side of things and other issues.

man, was it such a hard conversation.

and it's hard because some of the people i live with don't get it.

he is a great guy....absolutely.  but not for me.

i have a peace.

i know it was the right choice. 

and i know that He will be faithful.

and i pray that each day brings me closer to His will.  and that i am sensitive enough to hear His voice.

and man am i glad it's the weekend.

time here is flying. 

can't believe we just finished week 4 of class.

i'll be a college grad before i know it.  and oh, i can't wait.

DTR.

how has it already been a week since i blogged?  

i thought i was going to be better at this.

not a lot has happen except...oh wait.

i had a DTR with jake.  

DTR is a christian term called 'define the relationship'

because if you're not christian, you don't need to DTR cause it doesn't matter.

but us Christians like to make things a little more complicated haha.

anyways, it was awkward.

it was midnight and i was tired.  and didn't know what i wanted.

so the convo?  yeah, i felt bad for him.

he was real pushy and ready for something, whereas i was honest and said i didn't know.

we agreed to take it slow and let things happen.

since this day (a week ago from tomorrow), things have changed.

i have seen him like once.  really?

my brothers always told me that when a man likes you, he will find a way to be with you.

regardless of how slow we're going, i just feel it's not working.

also, there were some spiritual red flags.

but i like him.  i like being around him.  i like how he makes me feel. i like his servant heart.

but i have to stay in check.

i was talking to abby c. the other day and she is so wise.

she helped me hash it out a lot.  and is going to keep me accountable.

and abbey a. has been a huuuuge help.

and brenda was amazing.  she gave me the best advice and just listened to me.

it was nice to be able to talk to her rawly and know she wouldn't think of him differently based on how i was talking about him.

and i realized?  i want a man who will chase after me.  

i want a man who finds worth and wants to be with me.

i want a man to spiritually lead me and challenge me to grow.

so, i still pray for wisdom.  and discernment.

and i pray that if things are to end {which is awkward cause we had a DTR} that opportunities open to place a friendship stamp on it all.

and in my quiet time i heard the Lord say, 

'let it go.  wait for me.  and i will provide the opportunities you need'

sometimes i question what is really the Lord, but i trust He is in this situation and has been since forever. 

and i trust He is holding His baby girl {that's me} right where He needs me.

p.s...the twins turned 1 last week.

how has it already been a year!?

chinese food.

today i got to have lunch with abby c. and it was wonderful.

i love hearing her wisdom and advice on the current boy situation.

she is so wise and seeks the Lord.

plus, we had chinese.  score! 

then i had a community health clinical.

we were at a teen mom group and it was fine.

we did a lot of standing around but it could be worse.

some of the babies were aDORable!  

and i hate to say it but i was surprised it was all caucasian babies.

the Lord has been teaching me a TON about His love for me.

He has allowed me to rest in that more securely than every before.

i tell ya, it is so amazing and refreshing.  and breaks my heart i didn't truly 'get it' earlier.

and as i was talking to abby today, i realized something else.

i think that the Lord had things with jake happen now because had they tried to happen before Haiti, i still would have been not as engulfed with His love.  

and while i could sit here and think it is a coincidence, it can't be.

because Haiti could be, just maybe, what He waited for to bring someone into my life.

and maybe not.  maybe things with jake will blow over.  but just maybe they won't.

either way.  God is good.  

and even just being friends with jake helps me to get that more.

and while i'm scared to get into anything {because what if it lasts like 2 months?  that's so lame}, i was reminded by abby that if i am seeking the Lord than why does it matter what others think?

maybe He has someone date someone for a couple months as part of His plan.  shocker, huh?  but i wouldn't put it past Him by any means.

finding our identity in Him should be first and foremost importance.  

so i'm terrified.  and trying to put it at the Lord's feet.

and i hate to say it but i totally doubt it when i'm away from him.

but BOY, when i'm with him, i'm really happy.

there is a lot to learn about each party involved. don't get me wrong.

but this could be good.

and also, today for the first time i laughed so hard i spit my drink out.

it was so embarrassing but so funny.

i was with matt, rachel w, becca and brit. 

and rachel was sharing about our jillian work out video.

i just died.  so so funny.

ok, that is all.  happy tuesday!

run for hope.

wow.  life has been crazy, to make an understatement.

between school, class, sleep....blogging has been hard. 

i need to do better because lots has happened.

real quick, i may be crushing on a boy.

there is supposedly mutual interest but i haven't heard that from him.

he is such a gentleman and makes me really happy.

however, he keeps me in prayer like crazy.

he is super nice to everyone that i start to wonder if he is just like that to everyone and not me.

it constantly keeps me bring it to the cross so that i can put it in His hands.

i have to trust that if it is supposed to go somewhere, it will.  

and i just pray for wisdom and discernment as to what to do.

i have a lot of commitment issues and this has been hard for me.

i want to be able to let it happen and have to remind myself to take it slow.

i have to be patient.  i have to be understanding.

i have to let go of control.

i want this lesson and i need this lesson.  

and like i said, this whole situation keeps me in prayer!

this past weekend we were at a 5k for ryan's mission trip to africa.

we drove down friday after class and stayed till saturday afternoon.

we ran {which was AWFUL!} cause it rained all night before and stopped 10 minutes before the race.

plus, i hadn't run in like 2 months.  uhhh, yeah.

but the fellowship was amazing.

we love Jesus, we love Africa, and we love Ryan's heart for both.

there was some drama there but that can be mentioned later if need be.

either way, i got no homework done and stressed major last night.

i was reminded why taking a sabbath on sunday is so important!

i'm coming back to blogging.  cause i need to remember these times of life!

{kayla, sara, luke, miriam, rachel, ryan, me, jake--haylee and robbie already left.}

love this group of people!

so fun to spend the weekend with them {even though i slept on the floor LOL}

still trying to recovery from the lack of sleep.

welcome to college!!

elizabeth's 21st

i have been really behind, in case that hasn't been noticed.

so last week {tuesday the 28th to be exact}was elizabeth's 21st birthday!

we went to gervasi for dinner and than to panini's for drinks.

it was really fun!

at the bar she had several guys trying to hit on her.

and it was pretty much the ladies we were with on the dance floor.

it was outside and just real neat.

we all had class and such the next day so we only stayed till 11 pm but it was great.

i enjoyed every minute of it!

i just love her and am so blessed by her friendship.

we lived together last year and got to know each other really well and man! i just love her!

such a sweet heart.  and so beautiful, inside and out.

hope to have many more birthday celebrations with her!

here are some pics from the night.

{us at panini's}

{me and elizabeth}

{whole group.  elise, me, sam, julia, elizabeth, kaylynn, katherine, lilly, susannah, colleen}

{love her!}

this post is way late.  but i love this lady.

heres to 21 more years of life :)

22nd bday pics.

last night my bestie came over at 3 and we hung out.

then at 5 we headed on an adventure.

i was blind folded and we drove about 20 to 30 minutes away.

we ate dinner at a wonderful restaurant called 91.

soooo good.

then we came back and went to the devol hall lobby show.

so many good singers.  and akash and darrius can serenade me annnytime they want!

then we headed to the cross country time trials at walsh.

several of the men ran a 9 minute FLAT for TWO miles.

uhhh, that's really fast.

anyways, here are some pics from the night.

i am so blessed to have these amazing women in my life.

and all i wanted to do was spend it with them.  mission accomplished!

side note: what's even better from the night is that they gave me a free ice cream. you know i love me some ice cream!  

{whole group!  jess, rach, sara, miriam, janet, ty, colleen, elizabeth}

{at 91.  still didn't know where we were!}

{love these ladies!}

{my best friend of TEN years.  like, shut up! so blessed by her!}

{nursing majors.  we're sick.  and hilarious.  miriam, elizabeth, me, janet, jess}

i am so excited for this next year!

every year that i've been walking with the Lord has been better and i am so excited to see where He takes me next.  i pray it is radical and crazy in so many ways.  :)