the last christmas dinner.

well it's been a crazy couple of days.

yesterday, jake b. {who i had a thing with this semester} had a seizure.

he was rushed to the hospital, and they found dead blood around his brain.

he was put in the ICU and then went into surgery to remove the blood this morning.

we went to see him last night, and he was in good spirits.

his parents were there and it was so wonderful to see them.  i like them a lot.

and then the surgery went great this morning and there was no new bleed, just all old blood.

hopefully this should be the end of the seizures.

we've been in prayer like crazy and the Lord has been faithful.

and tonight was Malone's christmas dinner.

it is one of the best things at Malone, for sure.

i can't believe it's the end of the Malone dinners for us.  so bitter sweet.

i would post pics, but i can't cause i am out of space!  

but we all look sooo beautiful.  

i just love my friends.

and then we just did nothing all night.  

when we all should have been studying for finals.

i guess that will have to wait till tomorrow!

now for bed time.

interesting dinner.

tonight, we had dinner at the new president of malone, dr. king, and his wife.

it was an....interesting dinner.

but it was nice to be off campus and have some good food!

we had crepes and salad and an awesome desert.

then, i tried to study...but that was harder than anticipated.

i am so not ready to study for finals!

i just can't stay motivated.

and i love my roommie.

i could say it all over again.

i pray that the Lord brings us so much closer as the year goes on.

so you're a nurse? almost!

like usualy, night of worship on sunday was amazing.

the Spirit was sooo thickly there and it was awesome.

my pastor made the comment that when the Spirit is in the room, He wants to heal and perfect the things in the presence with Him.

so he said people needed healing and that the Lord would heal.

so a couple people did get healed.

and while i'm standing there, i get the feeling that the Spirit was pushing me.

and as i get this feeling, chris says, "any type of healing is welcome. depression, physical, emotional.  anything"

and i knew why the Lord was moving in me.  

i was there because i needed emotional healing.

i needed healing from my past and the insecurities it carries on me today.

so as i am standing by cassie, i told her i got that feeling. 

she said, 'what feeling?'

and i siad, 'where the Lord is telling me i need healing.  and i need emotional healing'

and i said i didn't want to go up, so cas says let's pray now!

so we did.  and she prayed for me. and it was beautiful.  and i just cried.

and after her prayer, we got to talking more and she inquired more.

and man, i just tell ya that she is such a blessing.

her heart for the Lord is so clear and she i am going to miss her when they move {in january.}

i wish these last 2 years of attending VGF i had had the time to pour more into her.

but trusting the Lord knew what He was doing.

and since then, i feel the Lord has been working hard core on healing my emotions.

and at the same time, today i felt discouraged about being single.

funny how both emotions can be so strong in the same day?

i just need to fully surrender it all to the Lord.  

seems so easy at first glance...but the practicality of that is dying to self.  and let's be honest.  that is hard work.

but He is so patient and so faithful.

and in the mist of the hard times, He is providing more strength and energy than i thought possible.

i'm exhausted and haven't been sleeping much.  which may or may not contribute to the emotional roller coaster i feel to be on.

so i'm off to bed.  so that when the alarm goes off at 5:45 i hopefully won't be as tired.  

p.s..rach and i skyped ryan and zach yesterday.

it was so fun.

at one point, zach said: 'so you're a nurse?!'

i said: 'almost!'

and then someone mentioned he was in med school so i said, 'you're a doctor!?'

to which he said, 'almost!'.  totally mocking me.

but i loved it haha.

i am so jealous that rach gets to go see them soon!

alright..now off to bed!

it's a busy life!

these last couple of days have been a blur, and it's only going to get worse as the week goes on.

on friday, i helped at a parent's night out at my church and it was so fun.

i started out with the big kids, and then they needed more people in the nursery so i got asked to move.

at one point, all 5 helpers had a crying infant in their hands, and a kid {who has multiple seizure disorder} bit his lip and started bleeding.  it was so fun.  haha.  controlled chaos if i've ever seen it!

it was fun to get to know other members of the church.

and k.h. was there so that didn't hurt to have some eye candy :) LOL.

afterwards, mollie k. asked if i would go to menchies so we had a mini date!

i just love her and her heart.

then, i had to come home early yesterday for the powless family thanksgiving/xmas.

it actually fell on the WORST weekend ever.  but i knew i had to come.

it was nice to chat with them and catch up, and my 6 year old cousin samantha was attached to my hip.

my 8 year old cousin, keven, said after the play we went to:

'i got to thinking about how giving is better than receiving.  and i think i'll keep 3 of my gifts at christmas and then give the rest away to the orphans"

and hew as dead serious.  it nearly broke my heart to see that.

if only more people understood that mentality.  i pray he never looses that.

after seeing the trains and the plays my mom was in, i went to the ortens to play catan!

i ran into them at the library and it was a spur the moment decision....love those type of events!!

i lost, again!  i need to get more practice at this game LOL.

today, i had church this morning {which was soo good} and have night of worship this evening.

i am a bit overwhelmed because i am so ill-prepared for this test tomorrow.

i am praying that the Lord works a MIRACLE so that i can have more leeway going into the final. 

i pray that my study time {though it has been minimal} is productive and beneficial.

i am planning on sitting with cassie and her family tonight.

they are such a blessing and i love them so much.

they make me feel a little bit more at home when i am at church, which is something i often struggle with when i come home.

ok.  well i need to finish studying before i head out!

pray for me and my test tomorrow, please.

and also for the exams that start a week from tomorrow!

speed dating. and an amazing God.

last night, i participated in speed dating.

yes.  you read that right!

malone hosted their own speed dating, with all 20 of us.

it was actually really fun and i got to meet some new people.

we had 5 minutes with each person, which initially seems like forever, but went pretty fast once talking to the contenders.

there were a couple people that i wish i had more time to talk to!

and overall, there wasn't one awkward person.

there were a couple people {only 1} that was borderline awkward, but nothing bad at allll.

which surprised me because i thought some of those guys would be awkward.  they proved me wrong!

i love meeting people, but if i'm honest, it really stresses me out.

i get all worked up {partially because it has been so ingrained me in that no one would want to be my friend or talk to me} so with that mentality, it makes me exhausted.

constantly feeling like i have to impress, or that they won't appreciate the company or want me there. so i'm self-conscious.

and it causes me to read into everything i do {or they do in response}.

and i really just need to chill out but it's hard to break what you've always been told.

so i bring it to the Lord and ask Him to gently, but firmly, change me.  

remold me and remake me.

to be an imitator and mirror of Him and His true character.  

and He is so faithful.  and i believe in time, He will heal me from this.

He is a good God.

He gives me good gifts.

and i am so undeserving.

and as i was worshipping in the car tonight, 'cornerstone' by hillsong came on {one of my favorites!}.

and i head the Lord say, 'do you trust me with your relationship status?  and do you trust me that i can heal your heart from your mom and mend a broken relationship?'

and i so sheepishly say, 'yes, Lord!  i believe you can. i believe and don't doubt {james 1}.  i believe you have my relationship, or lack of, is in your hand'

and he says, 'than trust me.  fully trust me. let's discuss how'

so i dig in my quiet time to see what He means.

to go to the root of the issue of trust.

and He so perfectly says, 'i love you too much to let you stay there'

and i'm so in awe of His love and mercy for me.

He constantly is changing and molding me to be more like Him.

and i can't get enough of it.

i serve an amazing God.  can't imagine my life without Him.

break over.

well break was so great for sleep and seeing people!

saturday night i was at the orten's house to see the girls and then chat with jenny.

she is just so wonderful and a huge blessing.

she even showed me a new game called russian bank.  so fun!

but since being back, break is certainly not here. 

had a test yesterday and another tomorrow.....oi.

praying tomorrow's test goes well b/c that is the class my grade could fluctuate in.

and yesterday i got a txt from cassie h. {home church}asking if i would sit by them during night of worship this weekend.

it seriously made my day.

i know i've mentioned before, but it can be lonely going to church when everyone is there with family.

since i don't have my family to sit with, i feel awkward and intrusive.

so to have her ask?  it's awesome.  she just has the biggest heart!

well, off to starbucks to study and then attend Bible Study with my awesome parkside girls! :)

a tree!

today, we did our annual tradition of going and getting our tree.

it's pretty...maybe not the best tree we have had, but still pretty when done up.

and the guys who work at the tree place??  umm beautifullll!!

i was so tempted to go up and give them my number.

and i'm actively plotting how i can get back to the tree farm before the end of season! LOL.

i'm so tired, and get to work at the office tomorrow morning.

it will be short {and busy} so hopefully it all goes good.  

gonna read a bit than off to bed!!

my ability to sleep is coming to an end quickly...going to bank up on it while i can :)

happy turkey day!

today, we kept the tradition of running the turkey trot as a family.

we run it each year, each at different paces.

and again, for the many-ith year in a row, i ran with karen c.

we are such good running buddies, i love it.

i hadn't run in MONTHS, so my goal was a 10 minute pace.

i was just gonna run for fun and enjoy it.

her goal was about a 9 minute pace {what we did last year} but i told her to heck with it.

our pace?  was 8:49.  HOLLA.  we finished in 27:37.  i'll take it.

come to find out we've both been doing paleocentric diets {with some wiggle room} so maybe our bodies were just better fueled and did so much better, even though we were rusty with running.

awesome.  and i love that our bodies are capable of that!

then the family came over for dinner and it was delicious.

and i ate waaaay too much.

now i need to go run 10 more miles.

happy thanksgiving!

so thankful for my many friends and family.

and missing the family that is not here today {gma, gpa, lori, dave..first time ever!}

the dump.

well, today started off nicely as i slept through all 3 of my alarms.

{which, by the way, i heard go off.  but turned them off and went to bed}

i hadn't been feeling well the last couple days, and apparentally my body was tired.

so i woke to miriam shaking me and asking me if i was planning on coming to class haha.

to which i said yes, and she told me it was 20 till.

well hellllllo world!  

jump out of bed, put clothes on and walk out the door to our environment scavenger hunt.....that was taking us to the landfill/dump.

we did a scavenger hunt first, which was semi-fun.

then, we departed.  

you can tell how thrilled we were!!

{we were a bit cozy in the back}

{i am out of space on here so it won't let me add more...oops}

anyways, i was glad to be out of there and on my way home.

which, by the way, after dinner at rach's house....I'M HOME!

i can't wait to sleep as long as i can tonight.

we finally meet!

for a little over a year, i have been attending Parkside Church, Green campus.

and for the whole time, i have never met senior pastor, Alistair Begg.

but tonight, that all changed!

he is one of the most personable people i have ever met.

and i tell ya, it has been an honor and privilege to learn under him.

he's awesome....and i can't believe we met!!

a big group of us went to hear him speak at evening church and i just feel like a giddy school girl.  butterflies and all!!  i was so nervous to talk to him.  and felt so stupid asking for a pic but he'll never remember me. LOL.

after church, a group of us went to applebee's and were there way too late.  class early tomorrow...oi vey!

only 2 days till break.....hopefully i survive!

twilight.

last night, i went to see the last of the twilight saga.

it was decent.  it was really dark compared to the others, which i wasn't a huge fan of. and i've liked the others because they weren't as focused on the vampire and fighting stuff.

and it was a bit slow, but the last 1/4 of the movie was insane! and so so good.  

and going with rach, colleen, and elizabeth made it so worth it. 

colleen almost didn't get in because her transaction wasn't showing up.

but eventually, things got figured out and she got to come in.

there were all these young high school girls, and about 2 boys....with their girlfriends.

but it was such an experience.  and you're only in college once!

{waiting for the show!}

annnnd tonight we celebrate with 22 years of life with janet!!

we went to dinner at a restaurant and than went to see a movie

{we were hoping to see Lincoln but it was sold out.  fail}

more pics to come soon :).  

so thankful for her in my life.

annnnd p.s.  at breakfast k.h. waved to me from a couple tables away.

oh those silly little things bring a smile to your face!

and it just blows my mind cause i barely know him and have only had a couple word exchanges with him ever.

i just wish he would actually SAY something to me for once. LOL.

love.

last night we went to rachel's house and made cake pops and held the baby.

she is sooo precious!  

when i held her, she sat and 'cooed' and talked to me for a good 10 or 15 minutes.

than she fell sound asleep.

gah.  my heart was so overwhelmed with happiness. 

and later that day, me and miriam hacked rachel's fbook.

took pics and changed her profile pic.

this, my friends, is the definition of love.  

tonight is the twilight saga..the last!..that i'm going to at midnight.

{well, actually 10 pm to see it earlier than others}

teammm edward!!

engaged? nope.

today at clinical, i got to do some home health nursing.

it's like a lottery when you see one of these on your schedule.

either they're really good {and the houses are decent} or you're really in for it.

i've had some days where man oh man it took everything in me to stay composed and keep all my food in my stomach.

luckily, today was a great home health day.

my favorite patient was a 60 year old male who was deaf and had dementia.

his wife?  the sweetest thing to walk this planet.

she had white boards and signs up all over the room for things he would ask a lot.

but he would also ask the same questions over and over again haha.

one of those questions?

he asked me at least 3 times if i was married.

when i said no, he asked if i was engaged.

when i still said no, he asked if i was dating someone.

alas, i said no a final time.  

to which he would tell me, '{gasp!} oh my!  well someone is going to be very lucky to have you one day!'

and then he would go on about how he was such i make all the guys' jaws drop.

i tell ya...that's the most attention i've gotten in months!! haha.

i told her it was a huge confidence, and she told me to come by whenever i needed that.

not only was it so sweet to hear him give me those compliments, it was even more touching because if i was in his position {pretty much on bed rest with a catheter, loss of memory and hearing} i don't know if i could be that positive and uplifting.  what a reality check.  because i really have no reason to complain, yet i do.  and here i am all stressed with school, when my situation would be a million times worse off.  

man, that patient was such a blessing!

and it is patients like him who make nursing so worth it.

bonfires. in november.

this last weekend was amazingly warm here in ohio!

it was in the high 60's and perfect.

so the other night, at the Roman's {after church} we had a bonfire.

and for the first time, i got more time to talk to k.h.

scoreeeee!!  not really.  he's just kinda my eye candy haha.

i learned that if you throw flour on a fire, it flares up.

and if you do it in a large group of like 6 or 7 of you, it gets real big.

don't let anyone tell you otherwise {as we were told and then backed the HECK up as fire was shooting out toward us!}

fun times.

it's been a rough couple weeks with staying motivated and doing my best work.

i'm just wanting this semester to be over already.  

i'm over it.  and i'm overwhelmed and stressed out.

thanksgiving break cannot come soon enough.

BUT!  the bonfire in november made it all worth it.

just hello.

the other night in the cafeteria, k.h said 'hello' to me in passing.

and here i was sure he didn't even know i existed.

well, maybe he doesn't.  but he said hello.

and my heart nearly stopped beating.

isn't it funny how a simple 'hello' can make your day?!

and then, i said to janet, 'did you see what just happened!?'

to shich she said, 'nope'

and i said, 'kyle h. said hey to me!'

janet: 'yeah, i don't know who that is!'

ann: he is in the orange shirt by the salad bar.'

as we're saying this she is behind me and we're walking

and instantly janet goes to look.  well he was looking this way and they made eye contact.  full on.

awkward turtle babies. 

janet laughed.  i laughed.  oops.  

but i love those times in school where you can laugh at them. and just be girls.

and i'm sure he will never acknowledge me again, but that hello/eye contact/awkwardness was so worth it :)

college hang out.

the last several weeks i've been trying to make bible studies and evening church more of a priority.

i just feel i can always come up with excuses for why i should be doing something else.

but really?  what is more important than corporate worship?

there is such value, and i love it, so double yay.

anyways, the other night we went to stephanie's house.

and for the first time mike talked to me in person.

we went on 2 dates, but he never talked to me at church or outside of txting than when we were on those dates.  weird, huh? 
but i have to say, i really enjoyed it. he was in his comfortable environment so i saw a side of him i didn't see before. 
and i'm kinda wishing i had seen this side earlier.  weird, huh?

anyways.  i am hoping to get the chance to get to know him as a friend for real this time.

also, i am still kinda cruchin on k.h.

but the darn boy doesn't even notice me!

i think he knows i exist....but doesn't care one bit.
stupid boy!  i can at least have fun.

and i can at least dream...right?!

oh, to be in college :)

p.s....my roomie's family is in foster care and got a BABY today!
{who knew that they call you, oh, 2 hrs before they bring you the baby. crazy!}
she is a 3 month old africa american baby.
and we can't WAIT to get our hands on her soon :)

p.p.s....go vote!  
and wear a sticker for me b/c i can't since i voted absentee!

it's not like this everywhere.

well i had, yet again, another test today.

thankfully i got an 85% which i'm fine with.

could have done better, but hey, i'll take it!

i have spent the whole weekend studying and writing papers.  fun.

the next paper is due wednesday.  than another monday.

will it ever stop?!

last weekend i stayed the night at jess w.'s house.

i tell ya./.it brought me back to the days of middle school!

4 of us slept in one room. {megan, me, jess, abby}

abby and i drug mattresses into megan's room and we had a blast.

watched youtube videos till late hours in the morning.

i just had such a great time and love those ladies.

change of topic....the election day is tomorrow!

i went to the johnny diaz concert last weekend at school {sidenote: he is so good!} and he said, 'i watched tv for 30 minutes and saw about 96 political adds.  just so you know, it's not like that in other parts of the country'.

and you know what?  i never knew that!

i always thought that it was like this everywhere.  

but all i've known is ohio.

and i found it so interesting to hear him say that.

so all you non-ohioans...be glad you're not in a swing state!!

man. i am so ready for the political adds to be outta here.

i already voted absentee and am so anxious to see who comes through.

gooooo romney//ryan :)

and some cuties to look at.  how are they so big already!?

and yes.  

i did thrown them up in the air until the timer went off so they are smiling.

love them!

a choice.

tonight i'm feeling left out and discouraged.

i feel left out as i find things that my friends did last weekend, without me.

and not that it is a big deal, but they didn't tell me about them.

and when it came up today, i had to ask about 7 times what they were talking about.

i feel left out.

i feel discouraged as i didn't do well on my nursing exam.

and by that, i mean i got a 70%.  not good.

i worked hard and did my best.

i am discouraged.

but as i sit here thinking about being discouraged and left out, i think, these are lies.

my hope is not in my friends or my school work {as much as i value both so much}

my hope is not in the things i am or am not included in.

my hope lies in Jesus.

and even when it doesn't feel easy to say that, i have to remind myself.

this life is not my own. i belong to someone greater.  

as i told jess {who is also discouraged} what i need to tell myself:

God is faithful.  He did not get me this far along to leave me high and dry.

there is a reason i made it to week 10 of senior year.

i believe it.  

He is faithful and will never let me go.

even if things don't happen the way i want, He is sovereign.

and i can sit here and dwell in self pity {which sometimes seems like a good idea} or i can choose to rest in Him.

i'll choose the later.

happy halloween.

tese next couple of weeks will be filled with homework and such, so back to the weekend.

there was the homecoming game on satuday.

malone was winning when we got there {which was only for halftime} and then they LOST!

it was tragic.

anyways, sara, abby, jess and i went to see halftime stuff and be supportive.

i was such a proud mama cheering and taking pics.  so fun!!

{it was coooold.  sara, me, jess, abby}

{my favorite.  miriam and janet.  she's waving to her parents. so precious!}

{such beautiful women, inside and out}

today, rachel, miriam, janet and i played euchre.

rachel and i won.....oh yeah.

we even placed some bets--ramen noodles, passion tea, coffee, and a sunkist drink.

we're rebels, gambling at malone.

and while we're talking about rebels....we bought a candle warmer tonight.

it's really a scentsy.  but we're pretty sure its illegal.

but it smells soo good.  YOLO.

annnnd it's halloween!

yet, i kept forgetting.

we won't dress up.  or go trick or treating.

but we will study and live large by taking trips to gabriel brothers.

and i wouldn't want it any other way!

switch.

yesterday, i had my LAST advising meeting appointment {or my undergrad career} ever.

so hard to believe.  almost a senior and finished with this phase that people say is the 'best days of our lives'.  feels like just yesterday i was in the quad for the main event.

in some ways, these have been the 'best years', but im optimistic that they won't be the only ones.

after my meeting, at dinner, we played a new 'game'.

it is played when you and others are laughing and you yell SWITCH ANN and i would have to go from happy to sad as fast as you can, while i switch emotions. 

it is one of the most fun things to do!!  just try it.

mid laugh, trying to watch someone stop laughing, is hilarious.

gideon, micah, maria, janet, me, miriam, rachel and sara were in the cafeteria all laughing and yelling 'SWITCH' for a good 10 minutes. gideon and micah are the best at calling switch.

oh, i love my friends.

speaking of friends, they are awesome.

i am overwhelmed with school {majorly} and babysitting has been a bit more consuming than desirable.

and my friends have been so encouraging.

also, clinical was cancelled today....which was amazing.

we are getting effects from the hurricane sandy and a lot of places are out of power.

sooo when i should be studying for my test tomorrow, i'll be stuck babysitting.  ugh.

i will post more about the fun-filled weekend tomorrow.

but here is how i spent a {very} small portion of how i spent the weekend.

the lack of studying just might be why i am stressed.....but that's just a thought.

{jess abby and i went to starbucks to study.  love them!}

....photo won't load...i'll get back to that later!

top banana.

friday night, was the banana split eating contest. 

what is that?  only the best event on campus!

you pick a theme, do a stage performance, make a sign, and then eat a banana split. 

our theme was the history of malone and it was so good.

it was so fitting because it was homecoming weekend, too.

i was emma malone and we just blew it out of the park.

however, we did it all like 10 minutes before we had to be there--which, if you know me, cause me to be a WRECK.  i'm not a last minute kinda gal when it's in front of others. 

we had to go first and just started off with a bang!

we had walter and emma malone {the founders}

than byran osbourne {who made it cleveland bible college to malone college}

than gary strait {who made it malone college to malone university}

than dr. king and winnie {the current president and his life}

the guys did an awesome job too, singing a song about how good it is to be men.

they did awesome and it was a close call between the two of us.

there were different categories: fan favorite, best stage performance, fastest banana split eating, best sign, and top banana.

alas,  we were the 'top banana!'

i had never felt more proud of my girls.  it was sooo fun and our pic will now be in the barn.  

woot woot!!

{before the event!}

{after eating the banana split.  apparently i don't know how to eat without my hands.}

{all of us!}

{the men! brad, cody, luke, tom, jake, gideon, brittan}

{winners!! kayleigh, me, sara, janet, rachel, miriam}

{wooo hooo!}

{top banana.}

p.s...i had never inhaled a banana split so fast.

and the camera guy was RIGHT in front of us.  fun.

i think i felt slightly nauseated the rest of the night LOL.

not bad, just not in a position to eat anything else.  

but, an experience everyone should have at some point in life!

these are the days of college i love.

and the days i will remember forever.

holy weekend {of fun!}

holy moly this weekend has been off the hook.

so much fun stuff going on, it's been ridiculous.

and more pictures have been taken than imaginable!

it has been so wonderful.

so much laughter and not enough sleep or studying {for those two tests that i have this week}.

we will start out at the homecoming king and queen coronation.

{senior} women court was miriam, becca, and rachel.

{senior} men court was jake b., james, and alex s.

on thursday, they crowned king and queen: alex s. and becca b.

so proud of my many friends on the homecoming court. 

i am surrounded by such amazing people.  

at the coronation, there was a super sweet slideshow for the seniors.

i can't believe it is senior year already.  wow.  times flies.

enjoy the pics from the beautiful night.

{before the big announcement!}

{the beauties!  miriam, becca, and rachel}

{the king and queen!  alex and becca}

{my ladies}

{funny pic}

{my favorite.  love them.  my response to this pic:

'put this in black and white and you're golden'}

so. much. fun.

i left so many pics out but it was just such a wonderful night.

i love my friends.  what a big blessing they are to me.

becca--what a deserving woman you are for this title.  such an amazing woman of God and i am blessed to call you a friend.

rach and miriam--i love you and can't image any others who would be more fitting to be on court.  you're the best and i love doing life with you!