be thankful.

as i had my quiet time today, something really stuck out at me.

in a lot of the pastoral letters {i think that's what they're called--romans, 1 and 2 corinth., galatians, ephesians, philippians, colossians, ect} Paul talks about giving thanks.

several times he mentions that he is giving thanks for us and the work we've done (or the people of those locations he was visiting).

and i thought, 'do i spend that much time thanking God?'

and chances are, if i have to ask that question, the answer is no.

being thankful is an amazing quality, and i lack it more than i wish.

i wan to be thankful for the little things in life. 

for the simple things that might not seem like anything bug.

but to many people all over the world, is more than they dream of having.

so my heart is convicted, in a good way.

i want to be more thankful and give the Lord all the praise that He is worthy of.

and one thing i am extremely thankful for is the fact that even though i do nothing to deserve it, He loves me and forgives me again and again.

and i am also thankful that i got to get together with one of my besties, rachel w.

we got together a week late to celebrate her birthday!

i love her so much and couldn't ask for a better friend.

she is leaving for Africa in just 10 days!  woot woot.

i love that we share a passion for not only nursing, but also medical missions.
i miss her so much and seeing her tonight was so good for my heart!

went geocaching tonight for the first time :).
will share more about that experience tomorrow!

malone meme.

there is this page on facebook called 'malone meme'

it is a page that just has funny things that are so stinking true about malone.

who knows how long it will late, so i'm going to share a couple.

these make me laugh every time i read them!  i love it.

so here is a little sneak-peak of malone, my other home! :)

'oh you're a nursing major?  tell me more about how hard your life is'

'AVI...why you serve all good food on same day?'

'45 degrees, 2 lights, and all 4 feet....or you'll nazi the floor of a boys room again'

'empties dryer lint....throws on floor'

'so, howd it go?

she said God is calling her to be single right now.

looks like you've been...WWF'd"

'back to campus after midnight....gate still open!'

 

 ''gates to campus closed....drives on sidewalk'

'alert the others!  chocolate chip cookie day is here!'

'woolman, why you smell like car piss?!'

'if you hate malone, why you no leave?'

 

'trees with while flowers?  must smell nice!'

'malone, why you no have spring break in spring?!'

'not sure if exam was too easy, or just didn't know anything'

'oh you're a junior?  tell me about engaged life'

'long line for buffalo chicken wrap.....takes two plates'

these are just a few!  

they are all so funny and i love them.

there are several more but i need to be working on this 10 page culture paper.

oh.... ya gotta love malone :)

oh the TB test.

TB test.  oh how i hate them.  mainly just cause i hate needles.

i have to get them every year because of nursing school and will have to every year forever.

until now.

i got my TB test taken on monday and when i went in on wednesday, it was not exactly negative.

the nurse questioned it asked me to come back today so the dr. could look at it (coming today would keep it still within the time window of checked between 48-72 hrs.)

so i went in today and it was not looking so good.

the dr. measured it, and my TB test was certainly positive.

it was red and raised.....all 18 mm of it!

{normal used to be under 10 mm.  this year they raised it to 15 mm.  and i'm still above that!}

it does not mean i have TB, just that i've been exposed.

i could never exhibit signs and symptoms and probably will never have problems with it.

however, somewhere along the lines i was around someone who had it (and probably didn't know.  or just was rude and didn't tell me they were exposing me haha).

good news is: once you're positive, you're always positive.

this is awesome because i never have to get another TB test done!  woot woot.

bad news is:  i now have to get blood work and a chest x-ray in replace of a TB test yearly.

this stinks seeing i hate TB tests because of the needle.  

blood draws are a million times worst!  ughhh.

so goodbye TB tests.

of the several i've had, it's been real fun.

but i don't think i'll miss ya! :)

oh, and while i'm sure it's nothing serious, please pray that the blood work and x-rays do come back negative next week, confirming i don't have active TB.  for that would totally stink! LOL.

hello God. it's me, margaret (or ann.)

recently i have been struggling.

just with little life stuff and is all adding up.

i feel down, blue, just not myself.

when i think of why, i know exactly why.

recently?  i haven't been taking the time to read my bible DAILY.

but oh wait. i find time to work out 5 days a week before my classes even start.

priorities here are seriously messed up. and i'm having trouble fixing them.

if there is one thing i am certain of, it's that the Word of God never changes.

it is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

it is constant and replicable in every single situation.

it has wisdom and knowledge that i cannot gather everywhere else.

but yet, i have not been reading it.

sure, i read it every couple (or 3 or 4) days.  when i have 'time' or it's convenient.

but the importance of reading every single day is something i cannot stress.

the Bible is the book of LIFE. 

and life is what i'm living....or trying to.

i need accountability, encouragement...something.

i blame this on the fact that i share a room and to pull out my bible and read would be too hard because i'm distracted that there is another person in my room ruffling papers around (and studying for that test i should be studying for. LOL).

when i'm with God, i really need to be with just Him.

it's hard for me to focus when others are around and i know others are watching.

so i make excuses {much like the Biggest Losers.  'no excuses' is their theme this year}

and because i'm not in the Word and with the Lord daily, i feel the consequences.

i feel burdened, down cast, lost, confused, just a bit out of it.

i feel the need for my Savior and the only One who can fill that spot. yet i quench that desire.

(which, by the way, is one of the worst things you can do).

so i feel the emptiness it leaves. and yet don't change it.

so i need to re-prioritize some things.

if that means tomorrow my Bible reading gets done in the morning but NOT my workout, then so be it.

is my physical body going to last?  no sir.

my Spiritual life and relationship is going to be the only eternal thing that matters.

don't store up treasures where moth and thieves destroy.  what is the use?

i hear the analogy at church that putting focus on things in this life is like writing a long paper--10 or 20 pages--and knowing at the end of it that it's not going to be saved.

that would just be silly to keep adding to the document.

why waste your time, energy, efforts and everything on something that won't even save?

well this life is the same way.  nothing here gets saved.

the only thing that does matter is our relationship with the Lord.

and while i know all this, i'm clearly having trouble putting it into practice based off my actions.

so pray for me please. 

that i may change this habit and focus on what truly matters in life.

i want to live completely for Him.  and need to pursue Him with ALL i have.

old pics but good pics.

today i was going through some old pics.

my computer memory was totally FULLL.  how does that happen?!

so i had to delete some stuff and was de-junkifying. 

yes, i made that word up.

anyways, i came across these pics from the beach this summer.

it brought a smile to my face to see these sweet girls.

i love and miss them oh so much.

and am a tiny bit sad that i won't be going on vaca again with them this summer.

these young ladies will be amazing women one day!

and how i can't wait to see how that all unfolds.

{oh my may-may}

{silly faces}

{all smiles!}

{bunny ears!}

{kisses for the camera!}

how can this just not make you want to eat them all up!  

my becca boo and margaret may are awesome.  end of story.

i hope i can be the mom of some little ladies much like these one day....in the very very distant future :).

p.s...can we just take note how TAN my arm is?!

go ann.

and too bad i'm not that tan anymore! LOL.

lacrosse game

the other weekend some of the girls went to the lacrosse game.

it was fun, but the boys got beat.

but either way we had a great time.

i love spending time with these ladies.

i keep reminding myself that there isn't much longer until this phase of life is over.

so let's try to enjoy it, eh?!

{the whole group!}

{at the tail gate! with baby deacan}

love them.  

but more than that i love the sunshine we used to have!

the hunger games and nike air band!

well if this weeek has been anything, it's one with lack of sleep!

this week was the midnight showing of the hunger games, and of course we went.

it was over 2.5 hours long, and i felt like i was in a 3-D movie

{which is not good cause i get really motion sick in those}

since i drove, i didn't want to feel super sick, so i left at about 1 hr and 30 mintes to just recover.

plus, if i had to run and puke i didn't have any trashcan near LOL.

i tried to come in and out but was already so dizzy it didn't matter.

so i stepped out and talked with the two janitors and young man working there.

i kept making the young man tell me where the movie was when he did his checks haha.

when it was really close to the end, i went in and saw the last 5 minutes or so.

overall, i wasn't super impressed with the movie.

the book (as usual in these times) was a million times better!

oh, and to make it worse, i felt so sick all the next day, too.

after getting some good sleep last night, i am finally feeling a bit less nauseated.

rachel has all the pics from our waiting and playing cards that i'll put up later.

but last night was nike air band!

one of the best single events on campus.

heritage won {again} and did a wonderful job!  

elizabeth and rach were in one that was really good too--a michael jackson themed one.

i went with kay and it was so fun!

then we went to applebees to eat our brains out :).

alex s. even played justin beib and did 'baby' with a group.
it was so hilarious, and he actually looked real cute! haha.

{at nike! wow do i look young!}

last day of peds was this week and i am a bit glad.

not that i didn't love it, there just isn't much for us to do on an oncology floor.

my patient was super cute and helpful this week, but i'm ready for a chance.

psych i heard is boring but it's making the semester fly with all the changes!

this weeks theme was the song 'we are young'

we kept finding outself saying 'you only live once.  when else in our lives can we do this stuff?!'

i feel like that is what college should be about

{who wants to do homework all the time!?  uh, no one}

so it was a fun/exhausting/busy/amazing week. 

now i have some exams this week and need to crack down and study today.

hello mr. sun!

you know you're from ohio when you can lay out for a mere hour and come back BURNT! 

it's been a while since the sun has graced us with its presence and man, has it been wonderful!

it seriously makes such a difference in everyones mood.  

and when the weather gets nice, a favorite activity is studying in the quad.

if you gotta study, might as well work on that tan :).

 

{we couldn't quite see the screen haha}

{love this!}

finished the Hunger Games last night!

so so so good (did i already mention all that?!)

anywho, excited to see the movie on thursday at midnight!

lots to do between now and then.

for now, i'm loving the sunshine and hoping it sticks around a little bit {no, a lot a bit} longer!

julia is 21!

the last couple of days have been busy.

wednesday was julia's 21st birthday so we were out late.

then i had clinical all day thursday and spent the night in akron thursday night.

got to see some awesome FM people who i went to passion with!

but the lack of sleep has caught up with me.

julias birthday was so fun.  

we went to a karaoke bar.

which was a bit sketch, but whatevs.

the DJ looked like wolverine and there were several people over the age of 40.  LOL.

regardless, we had a great time.

{my beautiful friends! colleen, elizabeth, julia, rach, me}

{love them!}

{then i changed into this haha}

 {outside the bar}

{last one!}

julia and elizabeth sang 'my humps' and it was hilarious!

and the wolverine DJ dedicated a song to her haha.

the next morning half of us had clinical real early.

so the next morning, i head julia all loud getting ready for clinical.

she had slept through her alarm 3 times!

and woke up with 3 minutes to get ready.

hopefully she'll let us take her out again in the future :).

i can't wait for my birthday when everyone will be 21 and able to have a great time {we couldn't get into some bars cause some of us were under 20 years of age}

happy weekend!

passion CD!

today there were lots of laughs!

first off, we got midnight showing tickets to hunger games!

i'm almost done with the books and hope to finish before the movie.

today, an old friend, bryan was txting me.

he plays in the minor leagues and will be in the area and was hoping i would bring some friends to a game.

and when i brought it up to the girls, it was funny.

i mentioned that he said we should hang out with them after.

they were all surprised when i said that would be fun.

so we were analyzing the situation.

colleen said she is the crazy one who is on the bed, being the ring leader.

rachel s. is also on the bed, being crazy, but not as crazy.

bitsy is on the floor doing the bernie. and clueless.

and i am on the ground....supervising. LOL.

oh how i love these ladies.

also, can't believe ben chose courtney on the bachelorette.

he is so stupid.  end of story.

and most importantly, the Passion 2012 CD was released today!

many people got their copy in the mail, but not i :(

but they just released it into my itunes and i'll be listening to it shortly.

hopefully my full copy comes tomorrow!

state champs.

yesterday was lots of fun.

went to church, and then headed to columbus.

me neighbor coaches hockey and they had their state championship game.

they played jackson {just 10 minutes from me at school!} and won!

i even ran into a lady from pilates class who was there to support her nephew :).

there were several guys there from my graduating class, who won states when we were seniors.

it was so good to see them.

i am so proud of my neighbor and their team!

{right after they won: score 3-2}

then we headed to donna and bill's house for dinner.

i headed back to campus and got in around 11 pm. 

last night was a bit hard.

seeing the guys i graduate with made me think something i've never thought before (and am so ashamed to have thought).

for the first time i thought:

'all of these guys are great guys.  they're nice, smart, attractive, and gentlemen-like.  but they don't love Jesus.  and if i didn't care to find someone who loved Jesus, i could date them. any of them'

i've never not wanted to look for a Christian man, and not that i was, but i felt it was an inconvenience to try to wait for a man with that important characteristic.

sometimes it is just so easy to get defeated in this journey.

all the waiting, and waiting....and waiting.

when there are so many non-Christians i could be dating!

now, i only want a Christian husband.  trust me.

and i have been praying a lot about these thoughts.

i don't want them.

i want to want to wait for a great Godly man.

but boy, all this waiting sure gets me impatient at times.

i have to remind myself that waiting is hard, but the reward will be greater than i can fathom.

and while being back is hard, especially being monday, i was reminded of Him through a beautiful sunrise.

in canton, sunrises are just awesome. like all the time.

and it was just enough to make this monday's start a little bit easier.

{so so pretty!}

eventful 24 hours!

it's been an eventful 24 hours!

last night i was supposed to study at RR with amanda.

but i get a txt saying she had to pick up mitch and would be later.

then, i get a call from an unknown number about 10 minutes later....

but back up:  i had made several phone calls yesterday afternoon about potential mission trips.

one from granville, and one through a group wade knows.

so the unknown number, i thought was one of them.

wrrrrong.

so i pick up the phone and say, 'this is ann speaking'

instantly i hear, 'i am appauled you don't have my number!'

it was mitch himself haha.

it was kinda funny seeing how offended he was.

he then txted me and said: '2 things.  1.  add my number now'

funny stuff.

but they called cause they were close to easton and wanted to know if i wanted to join them for dinner at northstar and shopping for mitch's clothes.

so of course i went!

but as i was arriving, i got a call from this group leader {danny} about haiti.

so i ended up sitting in my car for 20 minutes on the phone.

dinner and shopping was great, but a bit awkward.

amanda was in a mood which didn't help.

i just felt the whole atmosphere was about how they do this all the time, and i am not a part of the past times.

which is fine,  i mean whatever.

but i hope it didn't come across as if i wasn't enjoying myself.

BUUT while on the phone with danny it was wonderful.

he talked all about their trip and everything.

then i got a txt message that said how nice it was to talk to me and how he hopes i spend a lot of time in prayer because everything needs to be on high alert, as Satan will attack when we listen to the Lord.

i am just praying for confirmation about this trip.

watched the movie the Bodyguard, which is great.

oh, and started my 10 page paper on Haiti.

got 6 pages done....boo-yahhh!!

and currently i am reading the Hunger Games.

good good book.

took a little bit to get into, but i'm hooked.

although i'm worried i'll have nightmares haha.

i need to go keep reading.....peace! 

year of the boys

i tell ya, i love boys. LOL.

not in that way, but they're just so fun.

fun to talk about, fun to talk to, fun when they're txting you cute things.

for me, i hit my peak in the boy world around 7th, 8th, or 9th grade.

i was with the 'popular' crowd and corresponded with the jock guys.

and i'll be honest.  at the time, i looove it.

like i said, i love me some boys.

however, when i went to peru, my life changed.

so did my love of boys (i just learned to love them in a different way!)

it was no longer about who i could flirt with and get to like me.

but i was concerned for my brothers in Christ and wanted to honor them.

i wanted to be the best woman i could for a Godly man.

so with that, the boy area of my life got pretty dull from then on.

sure, there were times when boys would like me and i would be 'talking' to a boy.

then the conversation would come up, and i knew i didn't want to date them cause they weren't Christians.

and even the first two years of college were super dry in the boy area.

and in my arrogance, this was a huge humbling thing.

i thought prior to college, hey!  i'll come to a Christian school and find my husband day one--maybe day two.

but for sure within the first week.

and since i had been in a public school, i thought for sure there would finally be mutual interests of guys who genuinely loved the Lord.

it was a huge wake up call when that was noooot the response i got.

and i'm totally OK with that, cause my grades would have suffered greatly.

anyways, this year has been the year of the boys.

three boys last semester showed interest, and i went on three dates (two with the same guy).

recently, another guy at malone has been txting me.

honestly?  never talked to the kid before.

for the first time had seen him from a devol hall lobby show in september.

thought he was a freshmen--turns out he is a senior!

oops.

he added me on facebook and then messaged me.

said he remembers me from that show in september and how i was in the front row.

ummmm, good memory much?!  haha. impressive.

anyways, got my number and has been txting me.

not sure how i feel about the whole thing.

know NOTHING about him, never even heard about him till recently (and still didn't really know him, just had seen him a couple times).

jeeze!  i don't know where all these boys are coming from.

my theory is that we're getting to an age where they're realizing if they don't have a gf soon, they might not have an easy time finding one outside of college. LOL.

but who knows.

either way, i'll take it as a major compliment.

and i'm hoping it will build my confidence a bit in the boy department.

vaca ann.

the last several summers i have traveled with a family that has been like my own.

in fact, i am known as 'vaca ann' to the girls.

isn't that an awesome nickname?!  haha.

today i got to spend like 5 hours with them.

it was so great and so needed.  

me and the oldest are real kindred spirits (maybe cause she's the oldest?)

but it was so great to see all the kids.

louisa, when told i was coming, said:

'ann, i love her so'.

like that's just the cutest thing EVERR.

she gave me a pic from this past summer and i logged on to get other copies.

i don't know why i didn't get more beach pics sooner!

tonight they told me that another babysitter might be going with them this summer

{i need to find a real job so i can't just take that much time off}

honestly?  it makes me feel really insecure and really jealous.

and jealousy is a mean thing.  

i feel so easily replaced.  yuck.

please pray that these insecurities can be taken away. i don't want them.

i want to be genuinely happy for the new sitter.

and i just have to trust that this is part of the plan.

and the Lord knows what He is doing.  and rest in that.

but while doing that, here are some photos:

{me and jenny.  struttin our stuff in lake lure}

{me and the big girls at lake lure}

{pool time at lake lure!}

{more big girl time at LL!}

{helllooo HHI.  on the way back from the beach}

{mark and i at LL.}

{love this picture}

{bath time at LL!  all in one tub!}

{me and my louisa girl at HHI}

{HHI with the big girls.  they got me hooked on drip castles}

it will be really hard not being their sitter on vacation this year.

but i am so thankful for the two amazing years i've had with them in the past!

and more importantly, a forever kinda friendship that won't end.

i certainly am thankful the Lord has us cross paths over 4 years ago.

my heart is overwhelmed.

today i got to see the kids for the first time since august.

wow,  so many mixed emotions and feelings going on.

and it was all kinda hard on my heart.

it was a bit awkward there, which i suppose that is to be expected.

the boys were up my butt and you could tell they missed me.

after the first 20 minutes or so, it ended up being me and rachel talking.

just about life and whatnot.

we went outside for a bit with the kids, too.

they have two new puppies who are a bit crazy!!

i tell ya, i have no idea why she bought two puppies when things are already really hectic.

but if it works for them, than great!

it was also kinda awkward cause i met their new 'mommy helper'

she is in 8th grade and seemed very sweet.

she knew me as the 'old babysitter' so at least she has heard of me.

when the boys brought her up, i totally did some digging.

they told me she was nice, but not as nice.

and that they liked me so much better 

{mainly because she has only taken them to whit's twice ever, and i've taken them more LOL}

when i left, it was so so hard.

i told aidan to never forget that i love him.  he replied:

'i won't.  and i never did from the day you went away to college'

i'm not really a cried, but i totally cried at that response.

it's just hard knowing that things will never be the same.

things are forever different and not what they used to be.

i was treated like a guest, not a regular family member

(you know, when they wait on you and get you stuff.  when i used to be responsible for getting my own silverware, ect.)

it was so very different.  and yet, i almost feel a peace about it.

i was ready to be done.  i was ready to move on.

and i know that the Lord uses all things for His Glory.

{my handsome boy!}

{me and T!}

{me, aubrey, aidan}

{the ladies in the house!}

rory had told rachel the morning i came on the way to school:

'i really do love and miss ann'

which is so surprising cause usually he isn't all lovey dovey towards people.

but how that boy has a special place in my heart! 

i love them all so so much.

it saddens me that our relationship is forever chanced, yet i hope that i can maintain a part of their life.

they mean so much to me and i don't want pride, hurt, anger or anything else to get in the way of being a role model and showing unconditional love to them. 

still praying for wisdom and discernment that i wish would just hit me on the head haha.

and today, i watched the passion 2012 glimpse video that was released.

it gave me chills numerous times. 

gosh, how powerful that conference was.

i really hope i can go back next year!