bible studies that bless.

today babysitting was awesome.

kids totally on, ann totally on.

yes, love those days.

then we had the women's bible study tonight at church and it was about spreading the gospel.

i know i needed to hear that cause i get all un-wanting to witness.

i know it's weird, but i worry what people will think of me.

{since them spending eternity in hell is a better alternative....yeah, see what i mean?}

i know i need to be praying that God changes my attitude and heart about the matter.

anyways, we all went out to applebee's afterward and it was a fabulous time.

emily, myself, nikki, catherine, jordan {a girl who graduated a year above me, friends with catherine}, linsday, cassie, jaime, and tasha.

they are such amazing women and i look forward to getting to know them more.

at one point we were talking about children {half of them have kids and are married}, and cassie says to me:

'ann, you are so good with kids.'

man, it was so sweet of her to say that and it really touched my heart.

she has seen me in the nursery at church before, that's how she is able to make a statement like that.

i know it's not a big deal, but i feel i never get told i'm good with kids.

maybe that's implied? cause i babysit so much? but it sure is nice to hear every once in a while.

gives me some reassurance--when i so often feel i lose my cool all too often.

only downside to the night was that we didn't get a picture...darnit!

when i think of christian woman, i think of one of my good friends mary kate.

she lives in alabama and i got to talk to her the other night {for the first time in MONTHS}.

she is such an amazing friend and someone i truly look up to.

we met in peru and then the following summer went to europe together.

friends who stay together, travel together.

this is one of my favorite pictures from the WHOLE trip.

we went around different churches and have to dress a certain way.

well we thought we were done seeing churches, so we both changed into different outfits.

to our surprise, we came across another church we wanted to see....and therefore were stuck wearing these cover-ups

we were both dying of laughter.

  

{her knees needed to be covered, and my shoulders}

i am beyond thankful for amazing Christian woman who can be good influences.

i am praying that God puts one of them in my life who pours into me.

i really could use someone of good influence, who is older.

pray with me, please?

memorial day.

i first want to say a big thank you to those who serve.

i am so grateful that you do what you do to give us freedom.

it is so silly that we only take one day out of the year to acknowledge you all.

every year we put flowers on my gma and gpas graves but this year i wasn't informed when it was. so i missed it. bummer.

but this morning we went to the annual gville memorial day parade.

 starts uptown and ends in the graveyard where they say the gettysburg address, pledge of allegiance and other stuff.

{please notice the placement of my dad's flag.  yeah, between the butt cheeks, that's classy}

{some boys at the graveyard}

then, my mother and i had a mini fashion shoot on the porch.

i've been trying to be more cautious about taking pics with her.

cause one day she will be gone and i will want to remember times like these.

i wish i had started earlier, but better late than never.

my dad took these pics, so brace yourself.

please excuse some of the photograph skills......i now know why i am not artistic myself.

 

this is one of my mom's favorite holidays.

she says that she loves to take time to celebrate those who serve, as opposed to just seeing this as another 3 day weeked.

so i'll add one more picture of my mother....and wonder where in the world she comes up wit this stuff.

what a ham.

cooking makes me late. but i saw my rachel!

been cooking a lot the last 2 days. love it.

yesterday i went to leona's for a bit and hung out with dan, bryce and kevin.

they are building a tree house and i was there for support.

made them some food too, and they said it was good.

and can i just add one thing here?

i am not a late person.  quite the opposite. i hate being late.

well cooking has made me late!

it's 2/2 right now on events in the last 2 days.

i'm not liking these odds.

i am allowing almost an hour-ish of lee way, so why am i still late?!

i need to fix this issue or i'll go nuts!

i was SUPER bummed cause jane and ashley were supposed to go to leona's last night.

and i can't cause i had to bbsit :[

its for my best friends sisters, whose dad is turning 40.

well, i told her if she absolutely couldn't find anyone to let me know.

i told her i had something going on till later but that didn't stop her.

{i was hoping when i said that, she would find someone else.}

well, lucky me, she couldn't find anyone! grr....darn graduation parties!

BUT! there was driving conflicts and jane couldn't come.  so it was cancelled!

and i didn't miss a girls night.

and oh my gosh, never had i had so much fun babysitting.

and that is saying a lot.

i have never wanted to keep kids up past their bed time....until last night.

they at one point found out i had a crush on someone.....

so i showed them fbook pics, and they think he's super cute. 

and then, when he would txt me, they would scream. and always ask to know what he said. when i was putting ruby to bed amelia told me that i could tell them what he said when i was done.  how sweet is that?

frances even got my e-mail to get weekly updates.

she told me i should say: 'i am having fun with three girls, but not as much fun as i have with you'

ummm, i nearly died!! how freaking precious!

and frances sent tyler this message: 

'm****y is txting ann. he is very cute. ann thinks he is SUPER HOT! haha cute love. funny how one of my friends likes a m****....'

and amelia said: 'i wood like to hear about what you are doowing. love amelia. p.s. m**** is rely cyot'

i think my heart was so full that they were so about this.

we're just friends....and they were totally eating it all up!

and at one point, they all came down with bras on that were stuffed with socks.

we even had a HUGE justin bieber dance party. to his whole entire CD.
yeah....i think i was in Heaven last night.
it's been so long since i have been with them in that type of setting cause usually i am with tyler.
i hope i get more chances to be with them, for they are a fun group of young ladies.

{me and ruby!}

 {the big girls!}

today, i got to see my suitemate rachel--met them at polaris

she was at OSU visiting her best friend and boy, have i missed that girl!

she is so special to me and  i can't believe i survived 4 weeks without seeing her.

i dont know how i am not going to live with her next year. that will be rough. 

we did some shopping and then got dinner at the cheesecake factory!

i turned down an invite to go to a karaoke bar....which i have always wanted to do.

but it was at a gay bar....soooo yeah. i passed.

{i LOVE this woman.}

{i have missed her more than words express}

{we looove our passion teas!  i got rachel addicted, thankyouverymuch}

 {fun, fun, fun!}

{the beautiful ladies}

mitch and i did not even talk at church today.

totally fine. but that also means we didn't meet those 3 people we had planned on.

darn. maybe next week.

i have a feeling i am going to be another girl 'lead on' so i'm trying to not even go there at this point.

good plan?  i thought so too.

but i did get to talk to dan and todd garmin today.

todd is so funny. i look forward to knowing him more.

alright, i think that is enough for the day.

my heart is full.  praise Jesus.

daily email, concerts and cookouts!

 so i get this e-mail daily that i love!  and here is what i got this morning.

this actually doens't really apply to be hard core right now as much as it did 2 months ago.

there was a guy at school {ryan} and it just wasn't there for me.

it was SO hard to say 'i'm not interested' for fear of being a jerk.

{plus, the little part of me said i will never meet another Christian guy. oh, how Satan works so sneakily!}

but i knew i just had to.

well, this might be a couple months late, but it's giving me the reassurance i did the right thing.

isn't it funny how God can talk with us through so many ways?

it blows my mind to think how awesome it all is.

today ava had a kindergarden concert and kept asking me to go.
so i went, and it was so stinking adorable!

{me and the little star!}

{and sweet ryan}

stacy found out i was headed to a cookout and totally was all about it.
asking questions and being all excited for me.
how sweet is she?!
she told me i look adorable and that everyone will love me.
ok, feed me the lies, i don't care. cause it boosts my confidence!

so the evening started off a bit rough.
and by that i mean that my mom told me not to take this bowl, cause it was my grandmas bowl and special to her.
no big deal, right?
well as i am handwashing the dishes, and right before my eyes i see it falling from the drying rack.
and it shatters into about 12092763482 pieces.
no joke.
i was surrounded by glass.
oops.
so i was about 20 minutes late to chairs.
oh, and they finished in about 25 minutes.
great, now i look like a total loser...but what else could i do?

then, we headed out to the cookout!
um, can you say fabulous?
ok, not all of it was fabulous. but overall it was just that.

at first it was kinda awkward. cause here i am with a guy and yet none of these people know me.
i got referred to as a 'thing' when i walked in.
to which mitch says: 'that thing is a girl'.
some of the women i recognized from bible study so that was good. i just chilled inside with the 4 women for a bit while the men were outside.

there was the most adorable baby there, janelle.
she was precious! and as i was holding her, she fell asleep.
and slept for a good hour or so.....yeah, precious.
she also threw up on me. so i'm now known as 'the lady who got spit up on'. that's attractive! haha

{hi beautiful!  i could hold you all day.}

this babys mom was amazing and i love her so much.
i hope her friendship can be one to keep and she can be a good mentor type figure in my life.
we shall see!

then, the last couple hours, mitch came in and joined the ladies in playing this weird game.
which was kinda fun.
then, i said that i had one more round and was gonna leave.
to which someone replied: 'yeah, me too'.
so we both headed out together and he helped me carry stuff out.
we talked for a bit outside our cars and had a nice mini-conversation.
then i followed him home, not knowing where the heck i was!
he called and asked if i knew where we were and i said: 'no!'
but it was all good. and i am thankful for his friendship.
praying God directs it all.

{a picture of all the ladies}

almost ALL of them have iPhones and were on them a good chunk of the night.
{which if i can be honest, i think is kinda rude. do people have no phone etiquette these days?!  jeeze! haha. no, i'm sure i do bad etiquette too but i really try not to. i'm kinda picky about that. type A personality....remember?}
let's just say i totally have iPhone envy right now.
but i'm exhausted and ready for bed.
so here's to many more nights of fun and friendships!

i'm stubborn. and look like i'm with child.

today was one of those days where ava and i were going head to head.

its my stupid power hungry attitude that i get sometimes when she pushes me.

i haaaaate those days!

cause every bit of me wants to just yell but i can't.

and, every bit of me wants to let everything go....but i can't do that either.

cause if i'm a push-over, than she takes advantage.

so i end up being that nagging babysitter.

yuck.

i'm stubborn. that's all i have to say.

i'm working on it.....i am.

i think we clash heads because she's almost a 6 year old version of me!!

although, i wasn't like that at 6, it came as i aged.

just in the fact that she wants to be in control and the boss {but i'm that when the parents are gone.}

and how she is not too willing to be flexible when she has her mind set on something

yeah....that's me.

{but as a disclaimer: obviously as i become an adult i am getting more and more flexible, at least in learning how to just deal with it if i'm not happy with the decisions made. make sense?}

this is coming off as if i am proud of all that.

and on a serious note, i'm really not.

i know it's something i struggle with, and on the way home i was praying that God would work on my heart so that i can do better and better each time i'm there.

but it's sometimes easier to find the funny aspects in the situation...or it would drive me up the wall!

today, chase kept doing this hilarious head thing.

i tried to get a picture but he was moving too much so it's blurry.

but he would do almost a downward dog pose.

his forehead on the floor and his butt up in the air!

just like this:

 

how precious.

and he is not doing a somersault, don't worry.

well tomorrow is the day! 

chairs and cookout.

hip hip hooray {ok, i was just making that rhyme.}

i'm excited for fun with friends {and some new ones, at that!}

i'm not typically a shy person, and if you know me, i'm sure you would support that statement.

but can i just say that i do get shy around new people.

it takes me a little while to get comfortable enough to be my crazy self.

even at amanda's birthday party, i didn't feel too comfortable playing scattergories.

i know it's stupid, but i feel people will judge me the first bit of a friendship.

i feel like i am on pins and needles trying to 'impress' for a lack of better words.

i feel that i need to know and have it be proven that they love me before i can fully open up.

SO with all that, i am hoping that tomorrow i am able to get out of my shell early.

so i have been watching what i eat since i go to the beach in a little under 2 months.

i have legit calorie counted before {to lose about 10 lbs} but feel pretty confident about it now that i just add it all in my head.

well, i don't think it is working.

because i look like i am with child!!

granted, i am not sucking my stomach in.

but wow. i guess i need to legit count again if i want to get back into my bathing suits :]

i'm ALL about confidence in bathing suits and all, but honestly, i am 5'1" and shouldn't look like this.

i'm not fat, just need to tone and drop a couple.

I AM NOT PREGGO!

and won't be for a while. a looong long while.

i wish i was going to be with child in the near future, but let's find a husband boyfriend first. mkay.

but look at that little 'baby bump' thing going on. 

i don't know why i feel the need to share this picture!

i just ate some prunes.

so i will blame the bloated tummy on that.

and the fact that my 'time of the month' should start within a matter of days. {TMI? sorry!}

TJ MAXX just opened in the town next to me. and i loove that store.

went shopping with mom and edith and got a couple shirts and new pair of sunglasses.

score!

now off to bed. 

good thing i have a run scheduled for tomorrow with karen!

whew.

whew.  long day.

don't really want to post right now.

its late, i'm tired.

got to talk to my man friend today about cookout stuff.

can i just say...i could totally get used to this :] haha.

was talking to karen about the situation and she had a great piece of advice.

she said when she was interested in her now husband, this is how she would pray {he was working for denison and she a student, so they couldn't date till she graduated}.

'Lord, if we're not to be together, take away these feelings'.

wow, totally hits the nail on the head!

and i am going to direct my prayers toward that cause i think it's brillant.

and its exactly what i want to happen.

{the feelings taken away if this is nothing}.

here is a little piece of how my day went today.

gosh, kids can be so hilarious!

off to bed.

long day tomorrow with my sassy girl :]

please pray that i can have patience and wisdom on how to handle the situation like Jesus would.

speaking of Jesus, today justin wasn't being too nice to sarah. so i said 

'justin, would Jesus want you to be nice to your sister or mean to your sister?'

and he said 'he would want me to be nice.'
sooo adorable!  how can you be mad after that?!

ordered a new battery for a whopping $140.

yeah that warranty i have didn't cover squat.

at least my battery will now last more than 45 minutes.

good night all.

we're over half way through the week!

and one day closer to the weekend :]

amen. and amen.

sassy 6 year old. sweet 20 year old.

today, ava was eating a big snack at 4:40 pm.

so i told her it was time to stop eating cause dinner would be soon.

well, she did not like that answer.

and all the sudden she is fighting me tooth and nail.

so i raised my voice and responded.

to that she yells:

'i don't like you yelling at me! and i don't like your attitude!'

umm yeah. this 6 year old was getting sassy. 

i told her i didn't appreciate the way she was talking to me and told her to leave the kitchen if she was unhappy.

so she did.

i later apologized for raising my voice but she didn't accept my apology haha.

i told her that she would want someone to accept her apology, but it didn't work too well.

by the way, today i totally pulled the 'would Jesus want you to do that?' response to ava.

she said 'yes' when clearly it was a no! haha.

then i told ryan the story of noah's ark {he wanted a story about the zoo so i threw it in there at one point}.

i am trying to be more vocal about Christ.

maybe it's working?

but after my sass i received today, maybe it isn't HAHA!

ran into april at the bus stop today {acutally, she came out to us}
i love talking to her!
she is such an amazing woman.

got a call from my man friend today....you know the one i'm talking about??

we're hoping to do stuff with the church {cookouts, ect} for memorial day this weekend.

makes me nervous to go cause i won't know anyone but him.

i feel like that puts a lot of pressure on the situation.

i won't have any girl to go to as 'backup' if i need it or even to just chat to as a break in meeting new people.

but then again, i asked him to help me get to know people.

and as the saying goes, beggars can't be choosers.

so i'll go. 

and probably feel awkward//uncomfortable//out of place the whole night. 

but no one will know cause i'll chat away like it's my job.

i'm exhausted! have been the past couple days.
man. don't know what's wrong with me.
and my face//chest//back are breaking out like crazy. 
i don't know what is going on with my acne but it's driving me nuts.
shall i complain a little more?
nah, i'll stop now.


got to talk to my rach w today.
i miss her so much and it's always great to hear her voice.
she has a woman at work with her who is a mid-20 year old with three kids. and her husband is wanting a divorce.
wow. can you imagine? my heart just breaks for her and what she must be feeling.
please pray for healing in their marriage and rach to be able to offer strength and encouragement in this rough patch of a friends life.

i got a txt from my sweet friend {who will be my suite mate!} colleen that reads:
'thinking of youu :)'
that simple message totally made my day.
i am missing her {and the other ladies i'll be living with} so badly right now.
so, in honor of her, here are some pics.
these are from our annual malone christmas dinner.
so yeah, they're about 5 months old.
but can you believe i didn't have any more recent?!
wow. wait! just found some from her bday!
score.

{her and elizabeth at xmas dinner. just cause i love this pic!}

{stupid flash. but would have been cute!}

{love this woman!}

i am thankful for friends who shoot me sweet, little, txt messages just to brighten my day.

i don't know what i would do without them!

oh, and i plan on having plenty of skype dates the next couple of days to figure out what to wear this weekend :].

hey. don't give me that!  i'm a girl....let me enjoy this :]

glee time--peace out!

the bachelorette and the beach.

went and saw the movie 'bridesmaid' this afternoon with emily.

can i tell ya that i was really disappointed with it.

i heard it was hilarious and all these great things about it.

it was actually crude and not too great.

good thing i only paid $4 for it!

but it was great to spend some time with emily!

babysat some tonight and aidan had a bball game.

he did awesome and scored a run!

dylan had an r.b.i and did great too!

i can't wait to have my own kids and be able to attend their games.

john schouten's challenge for us this week is to pray this:

'God, how do you feel about me"

"God, show me understanding of your love"

"God, build my confidence"

"God, how do i know you love me"

"God, show that love to me"

 so, i've been praying just that.

well tonight at baseball, rory and i were on the play ground.
and all of the sudden, i just had such a sense of peace and God's presense.
it was so bizarre, and yet so amazing at the same time.
i felt his love just as i stood there watching a sweet 4 year old boy.
the sun was shining, but there was a cool breeze.
it was a special moment, and it was able to remind me of the amazing God i serve.

april's in-laws were at the game and her F.I.L was a character.

he asked me if i was getting paid to come to the baseball game and just sit there.

except i was with rory at the playground and following him around so rachel could focus.

i was slightly offended, but i'm over it.

i am a little worried because i don't think i want to be with the kl's 5 days a week once i'm done with the gossmans.

and i have had other offers to fulfill my tuesdays and thursdays. 

but i'm scared to tell rachel that i might take those.

not that i don't want to be with rachel, but i'm scared that if i keep my eggs all in one basket, it's not gonna be good.

if she gets used to having me and can have me any day, i'm guessing it will be easier for her to not use me every day cause she will run out of things to do.

make sense?

gah, pray that i have the guidance and wisdom to know what to do!

weird ADD comment: our lights keep flickering on, off, on, off. it's starting to annoy me!

i have discovered {well, actually mitch introduced me} this pastor named matt chandler.

he has a church called 'the village' based out of texas.

um, i have never been in love, but this must be close to it!

he's so good.  listen to him if you haven't!

the bachelorette starts tonight!
it's such a trashy show, but i love it!

it's totally my guilty pleasure.

rach k-l told me that they are having auditions for the next bachelor//ette in cols.

if i was 5 years older, i would totally go!

i would have to be single and desperate, but hey. they send them on wicked cool dates!

who wouldn't want to be paid to go all over the world?!

i am totally missing the beach right now.

only a little under 2 months till i am there again!

it can't come soon enough.

last summer we were in the outer banks, NC. 

in a city called Corolla {core-ol-a....like olive}

beautiful place with even better weather.

{one of the first pictures i took.  love the beach}

{one of my favorites with eleanor}

{missing our view from the house.  yes, this is what we saw from the living room! completely breathtaking.}

{and all the ladies!}

i can't wait for more memories this summer!

ahhh, happy monday!

we have survived another monday, and that is great news!

p.s. please pray that i find some people to help me unstack chairs with mitch on friday.

i don't want it to be awkward if only us two come.

and, i'm now scared to tell rachel i have to leave early.

uh-oh. could be a little tricky. {cause i already committed somewhere else all day on wednesday}

yikes.  wish me luck!

and also, a good friend of mine and her bf just broke up {almost a year into their relationships}.

they're both amazing people and are totally putting it at God's feet.

but i am sure they would appreciate the prayers for healing, wisdom, guidance, and understanding during this time. 

thanks everyone!

the rachel's in my life.

today....has been a great day.

had church and the message was dynamite.

then i helped in the nursery which was crazy busy.

a little preface info: God has had getting involved with the church and doing things for college ages kids on my heart a lot recently. don't know why, but it gets me all excited that i have this yearning to serve and get connected.

{or connect, grow and serve--as the church's motto goes!}

so i was complaining to leona that there weren't any small groups for the college age.

so she suggested i start one.....which i could love to do.

unfortunately, i don't have the resources or connections to do so.

plus, by the time i went through leadership classes, i'd be back at school.

so that quickly got vetoed.

then, she had the idea of me helping mitch with one that he had started talking about.

well so i called him and got the scoop.

it's not looking like there will be a small group any time soon {mitch has a lot on his plate already} but we have a game plan for how i can get more connected.

1. we're going to introduce ourselves to 3 people before church starts next week. {and mitch mentioned that this will be good because the girls won't think he is hitting on them, and likewise for guys thinking i am hitting on them.  but what if i want to hit on one?! haha. just kidding...that's not my style}.

 2. help with chairs and hope to meet new people that way.

3. attend home groups with several college kids at vgf so there is power in numbers.

i'm hoping this works, cause i'm desperate here to get to know people!

i told him i felt bad cause i know he has a lot on his plate, but he claims he's totally fine with it.

i told him i don't mind being his charity case.

exhibit a....right here!

bring it on.

so pray that i can get connected and meet new people....and continue to build a friendship with people who are already my friends.

 

but what i want to talk about today are the rachel's in my life.

i have 3 and i love them more than anything.

they have been such amazing friends and it makes me want to have a child named rachel.

ok, not really.  but maybe a middle name?? who knows.

 

rachel s. my awesome suite mate and one of my best friends at malone.  we've been through a lot together and i love her more than anything.  she has been there for lots of 'big' events this year. i look forward to many more years of friendship and good laughs.  my favorite memory of us is from this year.  we went to mcdonald's and this boy came up to hit on us. here is the convo:

rach: 'so what year are you?'

boy: 'a sophomore' {it was obviously hs...not college} 

rach: 'us too!

boy: 'really?!' 

rach: 'yeah..in college.'

boy: 'alright. see ya later'

rach: 'peace out!'

most hilarious moment ever. we laughed for a good few hours. and we were mentioning that moment last night while txting.

{my 20th bday dinner at olive garden.}

{and some winter pics}

rachel k-l.  she has been like a second mom to me and knows me better than most people in the world. she has been there for me through a lot, and we've had our tiffs, too. but she is one to apologize and make it better.  she has spoiled me in ways that i never thought i would get spoiled and treated me like such a gem when i needed it.  everything from taking me shopping for college stuff to taking me on vacas.  she is self-less and an amazing woman.  i miss her dearly when i'm away.  

{my senior year prom.  wow, i look young!}

{vaca before my freshmen year of college}

{a pic of her and her baby girl.  i needed a recent one of her but don't have one.  working on that!}

rachel w. wow! she was my angel this year. she helped me through lots of stuff and was the only one outside of the family who knew about my depression for the longest times.  she is self-less and will be an amazing nurse someday.  she is a role model and one of my best friends.  i couldn't ask for a better friend and sister in Christ. 

{pumpkin carving in the fall}

{and on her graduation day!}

i'm blessed in SO many ways--and rachel's hold a special part in my heart. 

i don't know what i would do without these women and i certainly wouldn't be half the woman i am without them!