i'm stubborn. and look like i'm with child.

today was one of those days where ava and i were going head to head.

its my stupid power hungry attitude that i get sometimes when she pushes me.

i haaaaate those days!

cause every bit of me wants to just yell but i can't.

and, every bit of me wants to let everything go....but i can't do that either.

cause if i'm a push-over, than she takes advantage.

so i end up being that nagging babysitter.

yuck.

i'm stubborn. that's all i have to say.

i'm working on it.....i am.

i think we clash heads because she's almost a 6 year old version of me!!

although, i wasn't like that at 6, it came as i aged.

just in the fact that she wants to be in control and the boss {but i'm that when the parents are gone.}

and how she is not too willing to be flexible when she has her mind set on something

yeah....that's me.

{but as a disclaimer: obviously as i become an adult i am getting more and more flexible, at least in learning how to just deal with it if i'm not happy with the decisions made. make sense?}

this is coming off as if i am proud of all that.

and on a serious note, i'm really not.

i know it's something i struggle with, and on the way home i was praying that God would work on my heart so that i can do better and better each time i'm there.

but it's sometimes easier to find the funny aspects in the situation...or it would drive me up the wall!

today, chase kept doing this hilarious head thing.

i tried to get a picture but he was moving too much so it's blurry.

but he would do almost a downward dog pose.

his forehead on the floor and his butt up in the air!

just like this:

 

how precious.

and he is not doing a somersault, don't worry.

well tomorrow is the day! 

chairs and cookout.

hip hip hooray {ok, i was just making that rhyme.}

i'm excited for fun with friends {and some new ones, at that!}

i'm not typically a shy person, and if you know me, i'm sure you would support that statement.

but can i just say that i do get shy around new people.

it takes me a little while to get comfortable enough to be my crazy self.

even at amanda's birthday party, i didn't feel too comfortable playing scattergories.

i know it's stupid, but i feel people will judge me the first bit of a friendship.

i feel like i am on pins and needles trying to 'impress' for a lack of better words.

i feel that i need to know and have it be proven that they love me before i can fully open up.

SO with all that, i am hoping that tomorrow i am able to get out of my shell early.

so i have been watching what i eat since i go to the beach in a little under 2 months.

i have legit calorie counted before {to lose about 10 lbs} but feel pretty confident about it now that i just add it all in my head.

well, i don't think it is working.

because i look like i am with child!!

granted, i am not sucking my stomach in.

but wow. i guess i need to legit count again if i want to get back into my bathing suits :]

i'm ALL about confidence in bathing suits and all, but honestly, i am 5'1" and shouldn't look like this.

i'm not fat, just need to tone and drop a couple.

I AM NOT PREGGO!

and won't be for a while. a looong long while.

i wish i was going to be with child in the near future, but let's find a husband boyfriend first. mkay.

but look at that little 'baby bump' thing going on. 

i don't know why i feel the need to share this picture!

i just ate some prunes.

so i will blame the bloated tummy on that.

and the fact that my 'time of the month' should start within a matter of days. {TMI? sorry!}

TJ MAXX just opened in the town next to me. and i loove that store.

went shopping with mom and edith and got a couple shirts and new pair of sunglasses.

score!

now off to bed. 

good thing i have a run scheduled for tomorrow with karen!